You’ve Become the Very Thing You Sought to Destroy

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Let me include a few thoughts about Clone Wars first.  While I have not watched the whole series (and not entirely sure if I want to due to some plot points I’m aware of), it does come up in fanfiction a lot.  I watched most of the traditional animated series when it came out, and it was weird.  So no, I did not want to watch the animated film that came out later and I objected to the idea that Anakin had a Padawan.  And, by the way, the film is still weird.  The series, once I gave it a chance, it better.  I learned to like Ashoka and was pleased with elements they included in parts of Rebels that I happened to catch.  I agree with some plot points that occur in the series (SPOILERS); I thought it was interesting to give Obi-Wan a possible love interest (and if you’ve read some of the Legends books, you know this isn’t the first time).  I adore his sassiness; because my favorite characters tend to be snarky, so much fun!  Anakin isn’t as whiny, huzzah.  We see clones in action and bond with certain ones (which comes to bite us in the butt later).  I was not fond of them bringing Maul back because, really!  Obi-Wan sliced the guy in half and he fell down a shaft [I could make a comment regarding the sequel movies here…apparently that does not mean death in the Star Wars universe…I also disagree with that; more of that rant later].  Can we be nice to Obi-Wan, please?  There are some plot lines that I understand needed to occur, but wish they hadn’t because we’d rather see our characters ultimately happy (after we whump them a bit)

I am interested in reading the Wild Space novel, which has been referenced in several stories (which will be listed at the end of the blog), but for now, on with the main event!

All the familiar faces are back: Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan, Natalie Portman as Padmé, Hayden Christensen as Anakin, Christopher Lee as Count Dooku, Samuel Jackson as Mace Windu.  Anthony Daniels as C-3PO and Kenny Baker as R2-D2 are the only two actors to appear in all of the original and prequel movies; in fact, the characters appear in all nine films, plus Rogues One, as well as two of the cartoon series, Clone Wars and Rebels.  A fun note about the title of this episode; originally, Episode VI was supposed to be Revenge of the Jedi, but George Lucas decided that revenge was not the Jedi way, but completely acceptable for the Sith.

After the title crawl, the film opens with a huge space battle; you really get a feel for the scope; there are layers and levels and feels a bit like a roller coaster…so be careful if you have a bit of a squeamish stomach.  Also, we now realize fully where the stylistic designs for the Empire originated; those certainly look like Star Destroyers and it doesn’t take much to see the similarity between clone troopers suits and stormtroopers.  Our heroes are in the thick of it and Obi-Wan’s starship gets attacked by buzz droids, so he’s not happy.  Anakin tries to help and R2 is cool; they ultimately end up crashing into General Grievous’ ship [I’m not a fan of Grievous; he was totally unnecessary, you’ve got Dooku]…Obi-Wan does a totally awesome flip out of his fighter and slashes through droids.  Now, time to spring the trap and rescue Chancellor Palpatine.

Anakin and Obi-Wan confront Dooku together this time; Sith Lords are their specialty, but Dooku is quick to take Obi-Wan out of the picture, throwing him into a walkway.  Anakin gets a bit cocky and Dooku can sense fear, hate, and anger in Skywalker, but he doesn’t use them.  Anakin manages to disarm (literally) Dooku and crosses a red and blue blade at the Sith Lord’s neck.  Palpatine orders Anakin to kill Dooku (Dooku was not aware that that was part of the plan); his Sidious voice comes out when he growls “do it” [and that throne looks awfully familiar…fast forward to Return of the Jedi].  Anakin decapitates the Sith Lord and frees Palpatine.  [Ok, seriously, you’ve got Christopher Lee and you use him for about ten minutes, to make room for some mostly-droid being that should have been hacked to pieces the first time he crossed someone’s path]  The Chancellor then tries to get Anakin to leave Obi-Wan (all part of his plan), but Anakin will not leave him.  All three manage to get captured by Grievous, for about a minute, then Anakin and Obi-Wan escape their bonds.  Grievous is a coward and abandons ship.  Anakin manages to land the wreckage of the ship, or as Obi-Wan puts it, half a ship, and calls it “another happy landing.” 

Obi-Wan leaves the politics to Anakin, who sneaks away as soon as possible to visit his wife.  Padmé quietly reveals that she is pregnant.  Anakin is happy (though note the brief hesitation).  Their happiness is soon marred by nightmares Anakin has of Padmé dying in childbirth.  He will not let what happened to his mother happen to the other woman he loves.  Now he’s on a search to find a way to save her.  He even seeks help from Master Yoda, with no details revealed.  Yoda once again counsels Anakin that fear of loss will lead to the Dark Side; attachments lead to jealousy and greed.  Anakin does not seek help from Obi-Wan.

Instead, the Council is concerned by the powers that Chancellor Palpatine is amassing.  Palpatine puts the next step of his plan into action and appoints Anakin as his personal representative on the Jedi Council, planting doubt in Anakin’s head [along with the dream about Padmé, no doubt].  The Council reluctantly accepts the appointment, but will not grant Anakin the rank of Master.  After the meeting, where Yoda states he will help the Wookies on Kashyyk, Obi-Wan and Anakin talk.  Anakin may not have asked for the position, but it is something he has wanted and Obi-Wan tries to get his former Padawan to see that Palpatine is interfering with the Jedi.  The Council, against Obi-Wan’s protests, are asking Anakin to spy on Palpatine (which is what Palpatine is asking of Anakin, but he’s too blinded by loyalty bought at a young age to see that…Palpatine tells Anakin what he wants to hear, so the young man keeps coming back).

Anakin visits Palpatine that evening.  The Chancellor feeds the young Jedi the information on where Grievous is hiding.  Then their conversation drifts to the Sith; Palpatine claims they are similar to the Jedi in their quest for greater power.  “All who gain power are afraid to lose it.”  He also knows a Sith legend on Darth Plageus, who could manipulate the midi-chlorians in a life form and create life [hmm, maybe that’s how Anakin came to fruition], and also, how to keep from dying.  That perks Anakin’s ears, his thoughts are on Padmé.  Palpatine claims that the Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities that would be considered unnatural (and Anakin is so consumed with thoughts of his wife he doesn’t question how the Supreme Chancellor knows Sith legends, or why, or why he’s telling him these things).

The Council decides to send Obi-Wan, who has more experience, to Utapau to capture Grievous.  Former Master and Apprentice bid each other good-bye; Anakin apologizes and thanks Obi-Wan for his training and Obi-Wan declares his pride in Anakin; he’s a far greater Jedi than Obi-Wan could ever hope to be [we’ll get to some Obi-Wan appreciation in a bit].  “Good-bye, old friend,” Obi-Wan says in parting.

Obi-Wan engages in a duel with Grievous on Utapau, leaping down and quipping “hello there.”  Grievous, proving to be a lazy coward, first instructs his guards to kill the Jedi (and weird opening lightsaber stance), Obi-Wan quickly rids himself of the pests.  Then quickly removes two of Grievous’s extra limbs to even the fight.  Obi-Wan’s division of clone troopers [the 212th] arrive to take on the droids, and Grievous runs off.  Obi-Wan pursues him and loses his lightsaber.  When the pair fall onto a platform, Obi-Wan first uses an electro-stave, then decides that hand-to-hand combat is a brilliant way to take on a heavily machined opponent (Obi-Wan, dear, don’t kick the droid) and he gets thrown around a bit.  He manages to grab a hold of a blaster while he’s dangling and a few well-aimed shots ignite what is left of Grievous’s organs.  “So uncivilized,” he quips when he regains his feet (call forward to A New Hope when he refers to a lightsaber as a weapon of a more civilized age).

Meanwhile, Mace Windu senses a plot to destroy the Jedi, the Dark Side surrounds Chancellor Palpatine and there is a fear that he will not set down the extra power he has been granted.  Now the Jedi Council is treading a dangerous line, planning to take control of the Senate.  At the same time, Palpatine is speaking to Anakin, making him believe that everyone else is out to get Palpatine and then he blatantly tells Anakin “only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi,” only the Dark Side holds the power to save his wife.  The young Jedi finally realizes that Palpatine is the Sith Lord they have been looking for all these years.  He wisely goes to the Council.  Windu orders Anakin to remain at the Temple while they arrest Palpatine; Anakin argues that the Masters will need him.  Well, one point for Anakin for finally making a good decision and Windu has a point that Anakin would be comprised, facing Palpatine, but Anakin does not handle sitting still well.

Palpatine continues to weave his influence over Anakin and Anakin leaves the Temple for the Senate building, walking in on the arrest.  Palpatine has finally drawn his own lightsaber and killed the three Masters who accompanied Windu.  Windu has Palpatine cornered, Force lighting reflecting off his blade back onto the Sith Lord.  Anakin pleads that he needs Palpatine in order to save Padmé.  Palpatine pretends to be feeble and Anakin still argues to do the right thing, then takes off Windu’s hand when the Master goes to strike down Palpatine.  Palpatine strikes back, shouting “unlimited power!” and tosses Windu out the window.  Anakin realizes he’s made another mistake and promptly agrees to be Palpatine’s apprentice and turn to the Dark Side [because that’s very logical; let’s negate the good decision made with the worst possible alternative].  Palpatine is now fully Sidious, scarred face and deep voice.  We hear the Imperial March when Sidious names his new apprentice Darth Vader.

That’s not terrifying at all

Sidious proclaims the Jedi an enemy of the Republic and sends Anakin to the Temple to kill all the Jedi there.  Afterwards, he is to go to the Mustafar system and destroy the Separatists leaders.  Anakin leads the 501st division of clones on the Temple, he’s gained the yellow eyes of the Sith, and they murder all there, including Younglings (our hearts start breaking).  Sidious issues Order 66 and the clones turn on their Jedi generals [oh boy, after learning to love these clones and see that they love their Jedi commanders in Clone Wars, yeah, stomp on our hearts why don’t ya…we also discovered in the cartoon that this order is compulsory; the clones were essentially under mind control and didn’t have a choice…bar a few we find out later].  Yoda, already reeling from feeling Anakin, manages to sense his attack and escape, with the help of a familiar Wookie (Chewie!).  Cody and his men fire on Obi-Wan, after he gave his general his lightsaber back.  Obi-Wan falls into the water and does not emerge.  We see him steal a fighter and escape.

Bail Organa investigates the commotion at the Temple and is lucky to escape alive after witnessing the clones kill a Padawan who tried to defend his home.  He boards his ship (the Rebel runner we’ll see in the opening of A New Hope) and goes to rescue Jedi.  He makes contact with Obi-Wan.  Padmé cries when she sees the Temple in flames and is thankful that Anakin is alive.  Anakin reports that there was a Jedi rebellion and they must stay loyal to the Chancellor [deleted scenes show that Padmé was already doubting Palpatine and was part of the group that would become the foundation of the Rebellion, including Mon Mothma and Bail Organa].  Obi-Wan joins Yoda at the Temple and they take down some clones and change the outgoing message to turn the Jedi away from the Temple [we eventually discover most notably in A New Dawn by John Jackson Miller that Caleb Dume/ Kanan Jarrus was the young Padawan who recommended this to Obi-Wan].

Palpatine calls a special Senate meeting that Padmé and Bail attend where he blames the Jedi who have left him scarred.  But his resolve is stronger than ever.  So, in the name of security and stability, he will dissolve the Republic and create the Galactic Empire!  As Padmé puts it, “this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause.”  [There is a can of worms here that I am not brave enough to open.]

Obi-Wan doesn’t want to believe the security recordings when he discovers it was Anakin who marched on the Temple, or that he has turned.  The two Jedi Masters must face the two Sith Lords; Obi-Wan begs Yoda to allow him to go after Sidious, he cannot go after Anakin.  The young man is like his brother, he cannot kill him.  But Yoda fears Obi-Wan would not survive Sidious, so Yoda takes on the Sith Master himself.  Obi-Wan goes to Padmé; he must find Anakin.  But Padmé won’t say where he husband has gone; and Obi-Wan knows she’s pregnant, and Anakin’s the father.  [Side rant here, it’s made clear in Clone Wars that Anakin and Padmé are not as subtle as they believe they are; Obi-Wan has probably known for a while that there is something between them, maybe not marriage per say.  And how does no one else know Padmé is pregnant!  Look at how she dresses now!  (Mind you, they are pretty gowns, and I love her more natural hairstyle, but that’s beside the point).  And she’s have to be a far ways along; it’s stated at the beginning that Anakin and Obi-Wan have been gone for months in an Outer Rim Siege, meaning her baby was conceived the last time Anakin was home.  How do her friends not guess?]

Padmé flies off to see her husband and Obi-Wan stows away on the ship; he knows his friends.  Anakin has executed all the Separatists leaders but is still excited to see his wife.  Until she questions his actions.  Anakin now believes that Obi-Wan has turned her against him; it’s back to being all Obi-Wan’s fault.  Then Obi-Wan reveals himself and Anakin turns on his wife.  He chokes her (cause that’s a real smart idea with a pregnant woman) and Obi-Wan tries one last time to talk sense into his former Padawan, but his mind is lost to Palpatine’s machinations.

Thus begins the Battle of the Heroes [another stunning masterpiece composed by John Williams.  I can remember Jimmy Smits introducing this piece at A Capitol Fourth, referring to the orchestra as “some friends,” I thought it was funny and totally cool that they played it in Washington D.C. for everyone].  It’s blue lightsaber versus blue lightsaber (a first for the series), brother versus brother.  This is the most epic duel of the entire saga [I will fight you on this].  It is fast, and no, that was not digitally altered, Hayden and Ewan performed this duel themselves and are skilled enough now to fight at that speed.  This is a fight between foes that know each other’s fighting styles intimately.  They’re often a blur of blue and will use the same move against each other.  Heck, they even throw in a bit of Duel of the Fates at one point.

At the same time, Yoda faces Sidious in the Senate building.  Sidious resorts to throwing the Senate seats at the diminutive Jedi and it ends as a stale mate.  Yoda escapes and tells Bail Organa he must go into hiding, failed, he has.

Obi-Wan expresses his own failure to Anakin.  Anakin is now immersed in the Dark Side and feels that the Jedi are evil (goes back to everything Palpatine has fed him for over a decade).  Obi-Wan gains the high ground and cautions Anakin to surrender.  Anakin is still cocky and flips over his former master, but he’s still in reach of Obi-Wan’s blade and loses the rest of his limbs.  The heat of the lava lands on him, burning and scaring him as Obi-Wan releases his pain: “You were the Chosen One!  It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!  Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!”  Anakin shouts his hatred at Obi-Wan.  “You were my brother, Anakin.  I loved you.”  [Excellent acting by Ewan]  Obi-Wan cannot bring himself to end his best friend (which could be argued was a mistake, but we love Obi-Wan too much to judge him too harshly), so takes his discarded lightsaber and walks away.  He takes Padmé to Bail Organa where the medical droids deliver her twins (a bit of a shock to everyone, except us).  Sadly, she’s lost the will to live but tells Obi-Wan as he holds newborn Luke that there is still good in Anakin.

Palpatine senses Vader is in trouble and saves him, but that necessitates a large black suit to keep him alive.  This is where that iconic look comes from and that distinctive breathing.  When Vader asks about his wife, Palpatine tells him that he killed her.  Construction begins on the Death Star [why it takes nineteen years to build the first one, unless there were large-scale prototypes first…there are a few plot holes between the ending of III and beginning of IV].  Padmé’s family buries her on Naboo.  Yoda recommends that the infants be split up for their protection; Bail offers to take Leia to Alderaan.  Obi-Wan will take Luke to his family on Tatooine (cue theme from Episode IV).  Yoda has one final lesson for Obi-Wan; Qui-Gon has kept his identity in the Force and offers to teach the remaining Masters.  We also get a quick scene that shows C-3PO’s memory was wiped before working for Bail Organa, but R2-D2’s was not…meaning that little astromech knows everything.

So now, all we have to do is wait for the next generation to grow up.

This movie, like the other prequels, has its good and bad points.  Anakin’s Heel-Face Turn was too sudden when it finally happened.  Yes, the ground work has been laid, particularly since Attack of the Clones.  But it seems within the space of a few hours, Anakin goes from ‘I trust the Jedi Council to handle this threat I discovered’, to ‘I kill the Jedi Master and boom, now I’m a Sith Lord’.  And then he takes it out on his wife.  Of course, this is majorly influenced by Palpatine’s schemes, but I really want to smack Anakin upside the head.  [And this is why there exists many fix-it fictions].  And all Padmé does it sit around, being pregnant.  She took charge and kicked butt in the previous two films and now, nothing.  She loses the will to live after giving birth…yes, this obviously had to happen because she’s not around in the originals (and begs the question, how did Leia have memories of her…plot hole), but still disappointing.  Grievous was an unneeded character; you already had an extra bad guy and why build up Count Dooku if you’re not going to use him.

The banter was fun; Anakin was a bit better, at least at the beginning of the film; not so whiny.  The massive duel at the end was epic!  That sells the entire film; it’s fraught with emotion.  Obi-Wan may not have been planning on killing Anakin, but he did plan on stopping him.  What makes it even more interesting is that the two characters (and actors) were evenly matched.

Up Next: Solo

I’ll put my musings on the Jedi Code here:

As the extended universe wrote out, the Jedi Code declares There is no emotion, there is peace.  There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.  There is no passion, there is serenity.  There is no chaos, there is harmony.  There is no death, there is the Force.  I’m sure someone has done a paper somewhere comparing this to different philosophies or religious beliefs and this as it is written out is a mindful way to live.  For a while, I felt that the Jedi Code was meant to make Jedi into unfeeling beings, which is the opposite of what humans are.  As humans we have emotions, we are emotions.  And as a teenager, just getting into the fandom, I went along with the idea that the Council was denying Anakin’s basic needs as a human; of course he should feel love.  But there is a difference between love and attachment.  It circles back to that saying “if you love something,  let it go.”  The attachment rule is to prevent the Jedi from putting one thing or being or whatever about another.  Like Anakin putting the fate of Padmé above the rest of the galaxy.  Of course Jedi should love and have a compassion, but they have a larger duty to the galaxy.  In Clone Wars we see Obi-Wan tempted due to love, but he resists.  Is the Council flawed?  Yes.  It’s a bit odd to look back and see that wise Master Yoda made some mistakes.  Like, instead of simply telling Anakin over and over that fear leads to the Dark Side, how ’bout some actual help? And it pains me to say this, but technically Palpatine had a point in telling Anakin to completely understand a subject, he must study all aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi. There is obviously a fine line (and someone could make the connection between magic and the Force and compare Harry Potter to Star Wars…I do not have the time for that, lol), but simply excluding something because it is “dark” without understanding it is asking for trouble. Caution is urged, of course.

It is heavily implied within the extended universe that Qui-Gon Jinn loved a fellow Jedi Master, Tahl and his decisions regarding her were not wholly logical.  It caused a rift between him and Obi-Wan more than once while Obi-Wan was a Padawan. …Yeah, I’ve come to realize that Qui-Gon was not the greatest Master and this is where fandom has declared Obi-Wan deserves hugs. I once thought Mace Windu cold and unfeeling.  While he too was flawed, as is any good character, he also had his depths.

Some Obi-Wan Kenobi appreciation [can you tell he is my favorite character?]:

He’s referred to as the Ace on TV Tropes [a lot of this information came from there, but I certainly agree with their points]; one of the best Jedi that the Order ever had.  Third strongest Council member after Windu and Yoda; tactical genius, top diplomat (Negotiator), expert pilot (out flew Jango Fett), master of multiple forms of lightsaber combat (particularly Form III [Soresu] and Ataru).  Considered to be the single best defensive duelist in the galaxy in his prime.  In canon, the only battle he loses is against Vader in A New Hope and he most likely threw that as a distraction to help Luke.  He faced off against the Sith, killing an apprentice when he was only a Padawan and Grievous.  Became a broken ace after the death of Qui-Gon and most of the Order, and (SPOILER) his love Satine by Maul [I disliked that bit].  Saw the death of Padmé and spent nineteen years in hiding on Tatooine with guilt and trauma. 

Sees more combat that most of the other Jedi in canon.  More of a brother relationship with Anakin, less of an age gap; bicker like siblings (and it is hilarious).  The one who started the trend of Jedi generals wearing clone trooper armor in order to relate more closely to their troops.  Primary enemy of Maul and Grievous, but greatest enemy was Anakin.  Took a Level in Badass: goes from getting very lucky against Maul to a Master who defeated Grievous and bested the most powerful Force User in the galaxy.  Badass Bookworm – intelligent, cultured gentlemen, who can kick a lot of ass when the time comes for it (love this!).  Bash Brothers and Big Brother Instinct and Mentor with Anakin.  The fandom is quick to point out that while Obi-Wan undoubtedly made mistakes in training Anakin (and he beats himself up for it), he went directly from being a Padawan to having a Padawan and one who was already too old to begin Jedi education yet young to be a Padawan.  And had several members of the Council who disagreed with training the boy, so cut him a little slack.

Is described as “the ultimate Jedi” partially because he is modest, heroic, focused, and kind.  Nevertheless, if you push him far enough (like taking part in the murder of almost his entire “family” aka Jedi Order, including innocent children) he is prepared to hack off your limbs and leave you alone to slowly burn to death.  Calm facade breaks while fighting Anakin in Revenge.  Anytime the emotionally controlled Obi-Wan get emotional, something is wrong.

Humble Hero [fanfic authors recognize this]: It seems that Obi-Wan is the only being who doesn’t understand how great a Jedi he is – when the Council proposes to send their ‘most cunning and insightful Master’ after Grievous, he has no idea who they mean.  He’s also surprised when Mace Windu (the guy who created his own form of lightsaber combat) refers to him as ‘the master of the classic form,’ note, the master, not simply a master.  He is easily the nicest and most immediately personable member of the Jedi Order in Prequels.  Overall, maintains a kind demeanor and strong moral code in spite of the vast amount of hardship he faces.  Slightly aloof and snarky and times, but also polite and compassionate.  The Paragon: stands as pinnacle of heroism; selfless, morally upright, humble, and inspires others, in control of his impulses and emotions.  Not perfect, but closest to embodying ideals of Jedi Order.  Extremely clever, worldly, intelligent.

Does get beaten up at times (Attack of the Clones where he jumps out window and then the arena).  Combat Pragmatist.  Sharp wit and sardonically sarcastic sense of humor (could be a result of seeing death and destruction…I believe somewhere in Legends canon, young Obi-Wan suffered from visions).  Gentleman Snarker [I love that]: Obi-Wan’s polite, diplomatic demeanor can mask some pretty biting snark.  Poster boy for Snark Knight; he also likes to flirt with his enemies. Mainly meaningless, but still funny.  Refuses to give up after learning about the occurrences of the Jedi Purge and Anakin’s betrayal of the Order.  Still hurt years afterward, still believes Luke will save the Jedi.  Jedi are fettered as a rule, but Obi-Wan explains the strength that comes from resisting the temptation of the Dark Side while confronting Maul later.  Makes up for lack of character growth with the sheer amount of action he goes through.

Foil to Anakin, both skilled and famous Jedi with troubles love lives: Anakin and Padmé obviously.  Obi-Wan and Duchess Satine (Legends: Siri).  Obi-Wan takes firm hand training Anakin, more of a gentle touch training Luke.  Throughout Prequels and Clone Wars, Obi-Wan has several good reasons to turn to the Dark Side, but resists.  Cannot be corrupted.  Has Innocent Blue Eyes that symbolize his heroic, righteous, and pure nature.  Mentor Archetype.  Morality Chain to Anakin: Anakin respected Obi-Wan enough that Palpatine had to get him off the planet before turning him to the Dark Side, and Anakin still tries to (threateningly) talk Obi-Wan out of fighting him.  Morphs into dark version of Worthy Opponent.  Dooku  considers Obi-Wan a worthy opponent (Hardeen plotline; foil an attempted kidnapping by disguising himself as a bounty hunter and sabotaging the plot from the inside)

Implied friendship formed with Padmé and turned blind eye to her relationship with Anakin.  Good is not Soft: prefers to settle conflict diplomatically.  But will fight.  Demonstrates some of the most powerful Psychic Powers in canon.  Also prone to passively enhancing his physical strength and durability with Force; shot straight up four feet by arm strength to beat Maul; shook off blows from Grievous that sent him falling thirty feet; and fought Anakin within inches of lava.

Similar position to Han Solo in Prequel Trilogy; they both serve as older brotherly figures (Han to Luke, Obi-Wan to Anakin…I’ll get into more of the former when we hit the original trilogy because I love that part).  Obi-Wan is Anakin’s Jedi Master and partner who Anakin also saw as a Parental Substitute while Han is Luke’s partner and closest friend, who later becomes his brother-in-law.  Conversely, Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond is destroyed, while Luke and Han have a rocky start but become family (even before marriage).  Belligerent Sexual Tension with love interests (Satine, Leia).  Obi-Wan Ideal Hero, Han Anti-Hero.  (SPOILER): Both are murdered by someone they had a complicated father-son relationship with.  Driving force behind the Prequels, but still major character in New Hope.

Disagrees with (SPOILER) dismissing Ahsoka [and another reason I’m not keen on finishing Clone Wars].  Also believes the Council should be more open with Anakin about their concerns over Chancellor Palpatine and the Sith, but overruled.  The Stoic: has one of the most unpleasant lives (and afterlife?) of any character in fiction, but remains clam, never complains, and usually keeps his emotions well in check.  You Didn’t Ask: rather sad one, only reason didn’t stay with Satine is she didn’t ask.  Oh, and Leia is Luke’s sister.

Later in life, the Atoner for training the man who destroyed the Jedi Order and never recognizing the threat Anakin really represented.  Will still cut off arms if need arises.  Even after all the trauma he went through in his younger days and having spent almost twenty years living as a hermit, Obi-Wan is a remarkably kind and patient man.  Explanation for fight against Vader; stalling and Vader’s powerful attacks.  Starts off as a young and brash apprentice to Qui-Gon, becomes more wise and experienced Jedi Master, culmination in teaching Luke, his former pupil’s son.

And thus I am totally excited for the upcoming show on Disney+ and very glad they kept Ewan McGregor for the role.

Some fanfiction recommendations, all from AO3:

Check out

Both Lost Destiny and Crossroads by Nihes are interesting, but you end up wanting to punch something at the end.  However, Jedi Babysitting for Professionals is hilarious

I certainly hope that Big Fat Bumblebee’s Found is continued because it is certainly time that someone takes care of Obi-Wan.  Brothers care for brothers, Infuriating Man, Battle of Wills, and Enforced Convalescence are heartwarming (apparently the only thing Anakin and Mace Windu agree on is caring for Obi-Wan, not the Order, or the Republic, or even the Force, but yes to Obi-Wan).

Meysun’s There is no Pain is rather poignant, and you certainly want to wrap Obi-Wan up in a hug afterwards.

As I Fall and A Long Way Down by KCKenobi include some Obi-Wan whump.  Some Things You Just Can’t Speak About is another one that makes you want to wrap Obi-Wan up in a hug.  We get some protective Mace Windu in Old Wounds.

Must_Be _Thursday’s Just Surrender is rather good.

AndyHood’s Fought for Him really emphasizes why Obi-Wan needs some hugs.

Siri_Kenobi12 gives us some Obi-Wan whump in TestedMemoirs of Kadavo is wonderful and I already told you I love It Takes a Village from the write-up on Phantom Menace.

You Are Wanted Obi-Wan Kenobi by allwalkfree is my new favorite story.

Aggressive Negotiations: Negotiations with a Lightsaber

Episode II: Attack of the Clones

A lot of carry-over from Phantom Menace, though Hayden Christensen has been brought in to play an older Anakin Skywalker.  Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman return as Obi-Wan and Padmé.  Esteemed Christopher Lee (sadly passed away in 2015, but is extremely memorable for playing Saruman in Lord of the Rings and Hobbit [he had met Tolkien once], as well as voicing the Jabberwocky in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland.  He was also Rochefort in some of the older Three Musketeer movies featuring Michael York as D’Artagnan, and was a Bond villain in The Man with the Golden Gun; portrayed Dracula, and several different characters is various Sherlock Holmes renditions.  His filmography goes back to the mid-forties, with over 280 credits, after serving in the Royal Air Force in WWII) plays Count Dooku.  Jimmy Smits (spent a decade with NYPD Blue and a few years after that on The West Wing, and has a role in the new In the Heights movie.  Prior to that, he was with L.A. Law; I think that’s how my parents knew him…I do remember him hosting A Capitol Fourth  one year; the orchestra played Battle of the Heroes after Revenge of the Sith came out) joins as Senator Bail Organa (yes, Leia’s father down the road).

Takes place ten years after Phantom Menace, Anakin and Obi-Wan have grown as a Master-Padawan team and are assigned to protect Padmé Amidala, now a Senator after an attempt has been made on her life (the opening of the film).  Anakin still puts his foot in his mouth and apparently has not lost his crush on Padmé.  Obi-Wan cautions him, but Anakin is also distracted by dreams and visions he’s had about his mother.  That is why they almost miss a bounty hunter sending a droid to put two worm creatures into Padmé’s room.  Obi-Wan takes the quick way and jumps out the window after the droid (who’s reckless now?)  Anakin chases after his Master in a speeder, weaving in and out of Courscant traffic. The bounty hunter shoots down the droid and Obi-Wan almost plummets to his death, but Anakin catches him.  Then they banter back and forth a bit and Obi-Wan comments “if you spent as much time practicing your saber technique as you do your wit, you’d rival Master Yoda as a swordsman.”  “I thought I already did.”  “Only in your mind, my very young apprentice!”

What follows is a bit of a chase, where Obi-Wan is not fond of Anakin’s flying; “I don’t mind flying, but what you’re doing is suicide!”  [I did an excerpt of this scene from the novelization as a dramatic reading when I was on the forensics team in high school]  Until a shortcut doesn’t work out so well and the pair thinks they’ve lost the bounty hunter.  Anakin then leaps out of the speeder to catch the bounty hunter; “I hate it when he does that,” Obi-Wan mutters.  The bounty hunter tries to shake Anakin, but he persists, though he drops his lightsaber in the process.  Obi-Wan follows and catches his Padawan before he can run after the bounty hunter again.  They track their prey to a bar, Obi-Wan bemoaning a bit, “why do I have the feeling that you’re going to be the death of me?”  Anakin insists not, Obi-Wan is the closest thing he has to a father.  Obi-Wan sends Anakin to scan the crowd while Obi-Wan draws their prey out by having a drink at the main counter, after sending a patron away with a mind trick.  Obi-Wan catches the bounty hunter with his lightsaber and they attempt to question her, but another bounty hunter fires a toxic dart, leaving the Jedi with more questions and few answers.

The Jedi Council instructs Obi-Wan to track down the second bounty hunter.  Meanwhile, Anakin is to escort Padmé back to Naboo and keep her protected.  Chancellor Palpatine is eager to help young Skywalker and remarks he sees Anakin becoming the greatest Jedi, even more powerful than Master Yoda.  [This is not going to end well].  While Padmé is packing, Anakin complains to her about Obi-Wan; yes, his master may be as wise as Master Yoda and as powerful as Master Windu, Anakin still feels like he is ahead of Obi-Wan.  The older man is holding him back (fueled no doubt by the general consensus that Anakin is the Chosen One and probably nudged further by Palpatine’s slippery words).  An old informant of Obi-Wan’s sends him to Kamino; once he gets some help from Yoda and younglings when the Jedi Archives are incomplete regarding the planet.  They’re cloners, Obi-Wan is told.  They seem pleasant enough when he meets them, though they were expecting a Master Sifo-Dyus.  He ordered an army created for the Republic, using a man named Jango Fett as the base.  Jango claims he was recruited by a man named Tyranus.  Oddly, Sifo-Dyus was killed ten years ago.  When Obi-Wan reports to the Jedi Council, they confirm that this army was created without their authorization.  Obi-Wan is to bring Jango Fett in for questioning.  Jango Fett is undoubtedly the bounty hunter that Obi-Wan is searching for and they battle each other in the rain.  Jango has a young son named Boba (he’ll pop up down the road) who tries to help out (and that ship probably looks a bit familiar). Obi-Wan manages to plant a tracker on their ship and follows.

Padmé’s not terribly keen on hiding out on Naboo, but she can’t really go against everyone.  There are some deleted scenes that show more of Padmé’s family; very sweet.  And the scenery for Naboo is gorgeous, feels very Tuscan.  She and Anakin do manage to share a kiss while at the lake house (cue gorgeous love theme), but Padmé breaks it off.  Anakin tries to awkwardly talk about their feelings [the dialogue here is terrible], but Padmé keeps insisting that even if there was something between them, it is terribly unwise and forbidden.  While there, Anakin continues to have nightmares about his mother.  Padmé agrees to go with him to Tatooine.  There, they discover that Shmi is now married to Cliegg Lars.  But she’s not at the Lars homestead; she was taken by Tusken Raiders.  Anakin leaves Padmé with Cliegg, his son Owen and soon-to-be daughter-in-law, Beru (not the last time we’ve heard those names), so he can track them down (we hear Duel of the Fates reprised briefly).  He indeed finds his mother, but she dies in his arms.  Rage fills Anakin and he slaughters the entire village.  In the background we can hear Qui-Gon Jinn beg Anakin “no!”  Even Yoda hears it.  It does nothing to sway Anakin.  He confesses to Padmé after he brings his mother back.  She tries to comfort him, saying that to be angry is to be human.  Anakin retorts that as a Jedi, he is better than that.  He blames the Tusken Raiders, he blames Obi-Wan (and in pops a theme that will gain significance as we go).

Obi-Wan tracks the Fetts to Geonosis, after surviving an asteroid field; again, he’s not too keen on flying.  [Fun note, in the books that precede this film, mainly the Jedi Apprentice series, Obi-Wan didn’t mind flying, but there was an incident at some point that made him not as keen.  And Anakin is very reckless when flying, so that probably doesn’t help]  He transmits his report to Anakin to relay to the Council, then is captured.  We  finally meet the man behind a lot of this; Count Dooku (yep, over an hour into the film and we finally meet the big bad).  Dooku tries to sway Obi-Wan to his side, telling him that the Senate is under the influence of a Sith Lord named Darth Sidious.  We all know this is true, but Obi-Wan doesn’t trust a fallen Jedi.  Dooku was once Qui-Gon’s master and feels that his former Padawan would have aided him and attempts to sway Obi-Wan that way.  Together, they can destroy the Sith!  [All Sith seem bent on destroying something or someone].  Obi-Wan holds firm.

The Council is disturbed by the news from Geonosis.  They order Anakin to stay put.  Jar Jar is chosen to petition emergency powers being granted to the Chancellor in order to take control of the clone army (another reason for us not to trust the Gungan).  Palpatine makes a rousing speech promising to lay down the power that has been granted to him when the conflict is over.  [Liar!  And further disturbing note, this is very similar to how Adolf Hitler gained power in Germany].  Yoda will go to Kamino and Windu will take what Jedi he can to Geonosis to rescue Obi-Wan.

Luckily, Padmé firmly tells Anakin she is going after Obi-Wan, so if he wants to continue protecting her, as ordered, he will have to come with her.  They find a droid factory on Geonosis and almost make it through, even R2-D2 and C-3PO get in on the action, but the couple is captured.  They declare their love for each other, considering there is a good chance they’re going to die soon and share a kiss before taken into the large arena (sweeping love theme!)  Obi-Wan quips they did a good job of rescuing him.  Dooku announces that the three will be executed and three animals are released.  Padmé quickly makes it to the top of her tower (cause she was smart and snuck a lock-pick into her mouth); she’s showing up the men.  All three manage to get free, notwithstanding any injuries.  But droids roll out.  Countered by Mace Windu holding a purple lightsaber to Jango Fett’s throat, the cue for dozens of Jedi to enter. 

Battle commences.  Everyone gets in on the action, Padmé picks up a blaster and R2 has to rescue 3PO.  Jango and Windu face off and Windu decapitates the bounty hunter (with his son watching; I think the Jedi Master does regret it).  Dooku calls for a halt when the droids seem to be winning, offering the Jedi a chance to surrender.  Windu refuses for them to become bargaining chips.  “Then my friend, you will die.”  Not so fast, Yoda to the rescue with the clones.  Now it’s clone versus droid with the Jedi taking the lead.  Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan follow after Dooku.  Unbeknownst to them, Dooku has secret plans for the ultimate weapon [and that picture should look familiar] in his possession.  The trio’s carrier is knocked about and Padmé falls out.  Obi-Wan insists to Anakin they continue with their mission (except he hasn’t missed what his Padawan’s reaction implies).

Obi-Wan and Anakin face off against Dooku [his fighting style is influenced by the fact that Christopher Lee was trained in fencing (Three Musketeers, etc)]  Anakin rushes in and Force lightning quickly throws him into a wall.  Obi-Wan lasts a few minutes against the master swordsman, but two cuts put him down.  Anakin leaps to his master’s defense.  For a moment he even has two blades, then they fight in dim lighting (call forward to some duels in the originals), but Dooku cuts off his arm (and I think he even regrets that for a moment).  Yoda hobbles in to face Dooku, who turns out to be his own former Padawan.  They’re equal in knowledge of the Force, so it comes down to skills with a lightsaber.  And Yoda jumps everywhere!  Just a blur of green!  Dooku can sense he’s losing, so turns his attention back to the fallen pair and tries to bring machinery down on them.  Yoda saves them, but that allows Dooku to escape.

Dooku meets with Lord Sidious on Courscant, revealing that he himself is now a Sith, named Darth Tyranus.  Everything is falling into place as Sidious planned.  The military parade outside the Senate building is ominous (paired with a very familiar theme).  Yoda sadly announces to Obi-Wan that the Clone Wars have begun (hinted at back in the original film).  And Anakin and Padmé secretly get married on Naboo.

There are elements of the film that I like; of course the music is amazing. As much as I may not like the love story between Anakin and Padmé, or at least how poorly it was developed, the love theme, Across the Stars does make me think of a grand romance with a hint of yearning; it’s just perfect for that deep passionate kiss…I mean, you could use it as inspiration for any favorite pairing.  There is a dramatic bit in the middle that signifies that all is not wonderful and happy in love.  (At times it does sound a bit similar to Fawkes the Phoenix from the soundtrack of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets; the movies were released the same year and shared a composer; we’ll forgive him).

The arena scene is probably the best of the movie; very cool to see that many lightsabers.  Again, compared to the original trilogy, this is when the Jedi are at their height.  And it was fun to see how our main trio each fought their monster.  The duel between Dooku and our heroes was a bit of a letdown; he defeats Anakin and Obi-Wan fairly swiftly, though certainly left his mark (and it makes another connection between him and Luke).  Yes, it was rather cool to watch Yoda finally duel.

Often the middle movie in a trilogy will suffer a bit, because the set up has occurred, but you don’t get to the pay off yet (this occurred with Dead Man’s Chest).  Spoilers for those of you who have not managed to actually watch the rest of the series.  We know that a Clone Wars occurs during Obi-Wan and Anakin’s lifetime, though this was not how I was expecting it to occur; I always thought that the Jedi were fighting against the clones.  We know that Anakin at the very least sleeps with someone if not outright marries them and they clearly set that up back in Phantom Menace.  But what is supposed to be the main focus of this film, the developing love between Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala falls flat.  There’s no chemistry between the couple.  Their conversations about feelings are almost painful.  Anakin feels he is entitled to Padmé because he had a crush on her as a boy and has thought of her for ten years.  She still sees him as that boy she helped rescue.  They just seemed forced together because it’s “supposed” to happen; and it’s Star Wars so there’s got to be some other action. 

We all kind of fall in love with Obi-Wan a little more; well, a portion of the fanbase at the very least.  Man, I love sarcasm.  Or quips.  Or snark, whatever you want to call it.  I appreciated all the bits thrown in to connect to the original films.  And yeah, we can now clearly see where design elements of the Empire originated, lot of clone influence.

For me, not the best Star Wars film, but better than basically all of the sequel trilogy…we’ll get to that rant in due course.  What are your thoughts?

Up Next: Revenge of the Sith

There’s Always a Bigger Fish

STAR WARS

Episode I: The Phantom Menace

I have a, we’ll say multifaceted relationship with Star Wars.  This was one of the first fandoms I got interested in as a teenager, but it certainly wasn’t love at first sight.  My parents put on the original trilogy, long before there were even rumors of prequels, when I was growing up; and I had no interest whatsoever.  The most interesting things I can remember from that was that Frank Oz voiced both Yoda and Fozzie Bear.  I was about ten when the prequels came out and still did not have much of an interest.  That changed when I volunteered to man the children’s librarian’s desk during the summer reading program.  All the new children’s books were right behind me, including the Jedi Apprentice series, which tells the tales of the early days of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi’s master/apprentice relationship.  One sounded vaguely interesting (Number 12, The Evil Experiment, if I recall correctly), so I gave it a go.  And enjoyed it.  And then borrowed all of the other books in the series (which I finished in quick order; they were easy reads for me).  So I favored the prequel movies for the longest time.  Still didn’t necessarily want to watch the original trilogy.  Until I picked up another book at the library: Young Jedi Knights, chronicling adventures of Han and Leia’s twins, Jania and Jacen…I’ll get into all of that when we hit the original trilogy.  Again, I was hooked and thus brought into the fold of the original trilogy.

It was not always fun being the only one of my friends in school interested in Star WarsHarry Potter was fine, everyone at that point loved it.  As a teenager, the Jedi Code sounded interesting, mastering one’s emotions.  I read Star Wars and Philosophy and ended up writing a paper for college writing based on it [Living Morally in a Business World; not the project I am most proud of].  For a while, Star Wars played a role in developing my fanfiction world.  Star Wars fanfiction was actually the first fanfiction I read.  Then, I got into Lord of the Rings and that eventually took over.  I still like Star Wars and definitely have favorite characters and there are some books I will re-read multiple times, but growing into an adult changed my perspective on certain things (like Qui-Gon Jinn might not be the epitome of best Jedi Masters…partially influenced by some awesome fanfiction stories on AO3) and I now heavily favor the original trilogy.  Except the lightsaber battles, because they’re just totally awesome in the prequels.

I know there are about a half dozen different ways to watch this film franchise; I seriously debated posting this in release order, but I felt it would be too much jumping around.  I also will not be covering any of the cartoons; I’ve seen a good bit of Clone Wars and Rebels, but not all of them.  And I have not watched and don’t necessarily intend to watch The Mandolorian…I do not have time.  (I’m also really behind on the MCU shows on Disney+ right now, so it becomes a choice).  I do intend to watch the Obi-Wan Kenobi series when it comes out.  Apologies for any disappointment.  Star Wars is such a huge part of pop culture that it is expected that one knows certain things going into the prequels. 

George Lucas put together a great cast for Phantom Menace.  Liam Neeson (Schindler’s List [no, haven’t watched and not one I think I will], Gawain in Excalibur [I probably should watch that movie], the Irishman played Scottish folk hero Rob Roy, appears in Kingdom of Heaven and Batman Begins.  He voices Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia, and makes bad guys fear for their lives in the Taken franchise) is Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, Ewan McGregor (he’s got a great voice in Moulin Rouge, is a bit funny in Down with Love, is dashing in Miss Potter, and voices Lumiere in the live-action Beauty and the Beast.  He appears in Nanny McPhee Returns, Angels and Demons, and a seriously weird movie The Island [I watched it because he was in it and I still get freaked out by memories of it]) is his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Natalie Portman (before she was Jane Foster in the MCU and Anne Boleyn in The Other Boleyn Girl) is Padmé Amidala and Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean, the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice, The Duchess) briefly appears as her handmaiden Sabé (the girls looked remarkably alike at that age).  Samuel L. Jackson (before intimidating everyone as Nick Fury in the MCU) introduces Mace Windu, I recognize Terence Stamp now (Siegfried in the hilarious Get Smart movie in 2008) as Chancellor Valorum.  Ian McDiarmid returns to play Palpatine; Frank Oz, Kenny Baker, and Anthony Daniels all reprise their roles from the original trilogy.

Now, let’s venture “a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

Jedi ambassadors are sent to the Trade Federation blockade of Naboo to force a settlement.  Master Qui-Gon Jinn feels that negotiations will be short.  As young Obi-Wan Kenobi points out later, they are short indeed; the Trade Federation is under the control of a Sith Lord, Lord Sidious, who instructs them to kill the Jedi.  Not so easy, they find out.  The two Jedi sneak down to the planet and make their way to the Queen.  They pick up Jar Jar Binks along the way [I don’t hate him, but he is annoying], but make it in time to rescue Queen Amidala and her handmaidens.  Qui-Gon recommends taking Amidala to Courscant to plead her case with the Senate, but their ship is damaged while escaping the Trade Federation blockade.  Little R2-D2 to the rescue! 

They still have to divert to Tatooine to make repairs.  The Queen sends Padmé along with Qui-Gon to find parts and in town, they discover a little boy in the shop; Anakin Skywalker [who very awkwardly tries to flirt with Padmé; mind you, he’s nine and she’s fourteen.  Why a nine-year-old is using lines he picked up from spacers…]  Qui-Gon attempts to use Jedi mind tricks on the shop owner, but they don’t work, only money.  So Anakin chimes in when he takes the newcomers home that he has built a podracer.  He’ll pilot and win and his new friends can repair their ship.  Qui-Gon is intrigued by this boy, a bit to Padmé’s displeasure.  Anakin’s mother admits to Qui-Gon that her son has no father [um, when did the Chosen One become Jesus?  Though technically, there are several mythical heroes that do not have fathers; Geoffrey Monmouth’s legend of Arthur terms Merlin as one such lad].  But Shmi feels that Anakin was meant to help Qui-Gon and Padmé.  Qui-Gon does manage to use a Jedi trick in order to gamble for Anakin’s freedom; sadly, the owner will only let one go.

Anakin wins the podrace [space Nascar] and Shmi encourages him to go with Qui-Gon.  As any nine-year-old boy would, he doesn’t want to say goodbye to his mother; but this is his chance to live out his dreams of seeing the stars. On their way back to the ship, Qui-Gon encounters a man dressed in black, carrying a red lightsaber.  We know that this is Darth Maul, Lord Sidious’s apprentice, tasked with finding the Queen and Jedi.  Qui-Gon manages to escape and introduces “Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi” (and those of us familiar with the original movies see foreshadowing!)  On Courscant, Queen Amidala meets with Naboo Senator Palpatine and Chancellor Valorum to discuss politics; Palpatine does not have much faith that their situation will be dealt with swiftly.  He urges Amidala to consider voting out Valorum.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan report to the Jedi Council.  The Sith (enemies of the Jedi) have returned.  Qui-Gon also informs them about Anakin, believing he was conceived by the Force (how is that a thing?), thus making him the prophesized Chosen One who will bring balance to the Force.  The Council doesn’t quite believe Qui-Gon, but allow the boy to be tested.  He is truly Force-sensitive, but he is too old, and too attached to his mother.  Attachments are forbidden within the Jedi Code.  Qui-Gon attempts to take Anakin as his Padawan.  One problem, he already has a Padawan.  So he declares Obi-Wan ready to face the trials to become a Jedi Knight.  The Council tables the discussion; Queen Amidala has chosen to return to Naboo to fight for her people.  The Senate is in an uproar over outing Valorum and Palpatine is nominated to replace him (more foreshadowing…some of us know where this is going).  Yoda warns Anakin “fear is the path to the Dark Side.  Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

Our heroes return to Naboo and Amidala meets with the Gungans to form an alliance (and a background pilot is a younger Richard Armitage, fun fact).  And turns out, Padmé is the real queen!  Sabé has been pretending to be the queen in order to protect Padmé.  Boy, is Anakin surprised.  The Gungan army will be a distraction against the droid army [and you’ve listened to John Williams a bit too much when you can tell there is a note sequence in the droid invasion theme that is heavily reminiscent of Indiana Jones facing off against the Nazis; not identical, but pretty close] while Padmé and her people sneak into the palace and take the Trade Federation leaders hostage.

Qui-Gon orders Anakin to stay safe in the cockpit of an empty fighter.  Then Darth Maul enters (most dramatic scene of the film and to the amazing Duel of the Fates soundtrack).  The Jedi will handle him, Padmé will go around.  I must say, it is very cool to see a young woman take charge and kick butt.  But the best part of the movie is Duel of the Fates, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon facing off against Darth Maul [fun note, the actor hired to portray Maul, Ray Park, is a professional martial artists and swordsman. Liam and Ewan did most of their own stunts and fighting as well; Ewan kept bending his prop lightsaber.  Further fun fact in regards to the words behind Duel of the Fates, they are taken from a Welsh poem and translated into Sanskrit; if you’re John Williams, of course you do that].  These are the Jedi warriors in their prime (compared to a disabled man and elderly man fighting in A New Hope).  There are flips and kicks and falling down platforms.  Maul manages to separate Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, trapping them all in separate force fields [what that area is actually supposed to be, I have no idea.  It looks cool, so we go along with it].  Maul and Qui-Gon make it through the corridor, but there is one field left, holding Obi-Wan back.  And he witnesses Maul run his Master through.  His “no!” echoes through the chamber.  Maul is waiting for him and it is an aggressive duel.  Maul overpowers Obi-Wan enough to disarm him of his blue lightsaber and kick him into a shaft.

Meanwhile, Anakin has kept his promise to stay in the cockpit, along with R2-D2.  Then he tries to help Padmé by shooting droids, but that engages the autopilot and takes him into space above the planet.  He accidentally crash lands into the droid control ship and blows it up from the inside, escaping to the cheers of the other pilots.  Padmé outwits the Trade Federation leaders.  Obi-Wan summons up his strength and leaps over Maul, calling Qui-Gon’s lightsaber to him, and cutting his enemy in half.  Both halves fall down the shaft, but Obi-Wan runs to his fallen master.  Qui-Gon’s last words to his Padawan are to make him promise to train Anakin.  Obi-Wan agrees.

When the Jedi Council arrives alongside the newly elected Chancellor Palpatine, they confer the status of Jedi Knight on Obi-Wan.  Yoda personally disagrees with the decision to allow Obi-Wan to train Anakin; he senses grave danger in training the boy.  Obi-Wan is willing to go against the Council to honor his fallen master’s final wish.  Yoda retorts “Qui-Gon’s defiance I sense in you, need that you do not.”  Ultimately, the Council has agreed to let Obi-Wan train Anakin Skywalker.  At Qui-Gon’s funeral, Yoda and Mace Windu wonder if Obi-Wan has killed the master or apprentice Sith.  (Then the shot focuses on Palpatine…foreshadowing!)  The film ends with a joyful parade between the Naboo and Gungans, declaring peace.

Now that I am older and re-watching the movie, the first part just seems to drag.  As mentioned above, Duel of the Fates is the highlight of the film.  I understand the necessity of setting up the back stories for all these characters we know, but a good portion of this film falls flat.  John Williams’ score is of course, amazing.

Some fanfiction stories that I have discovered that tie-in with Phantom Menace include

It Takes a Village by Siri-Kenobi12

There is no Pain by Meysun

Both of these require some knowledge of characters introduced in the Jedi Apprentice books.

Up Next: Episode II: Attack of the Clones

“Maybe we could get back to saving the day”

Season Four

The Library and its Librarians has survived the ultimate battle against Apep.  Now, they’re past the point of prophecy; anything could happen.  Like odd priests (led by John Noble, best known as Denethor) uncovering large stones in Dark Secret.  These turn out to be the original cornerstones of the Library of Alexandria.  Flynn and Eve are practicing a bonding ceremony, led by Jenkins; they will tether the Library to this world and also gain immortality.  An alarm warns them of the cornerstones and Jenkins leads them to a cell beneath the Library, holding Nicole Noone; Flynn’s Guardian from  Quest of the Spear.  Turns out, they she got thrown back in time during that mission at the end of the film and at some point along the way, gained immortality herself.  Jenkins [rightly] does not trust her, but Flynn wants to speak to her alone.  She tries to get Flynn to doubt the Library; it’s keeping him prisoner.

In the meantime, the other Librarians track down the cornerstones before the Heretic Church of Shadows can plunge the world into another Dark Age.  Stone is excited to visit the Paris Opera House and a brief shout out to Phantom of the Opera.  But, they lose the stone and the Shadows try to bring the Library back to this world in order to destroy it.  Nicole ends up helping out and Flynn has to save her.  But she disappears at the end.

In Steal of Fortune, one of Jake’s friends gets a bad string of luck at a horse track.  Actually, a lot of people have been experiencing bad luck.  The Librarians figure out it is the statue of “Lady Luck” come to life.  They manage to rig the casino and she begins to lose her powers and revert back to a statue.  We meet Ezekiel Jones’ family in Christmas Thief.  They had no clue he was a world-class thief.  He accidentally shows his mother the Annex and the Magic Door globe, which she uses to rob the Bank of Thieves.  Ezekiel gets found out and they’re about to be terminated; for it is run by the patron saint of thieves, who happens to be Santa’s brother.  Yes, Santa has entrusted the three Librarians to guard his sleigh, which of course, they take out for a spin. Christmas is almost ruined, but Jenkins saves the day.  And Ezekiel reveals that he would steal things so he could donate the profits; roads, schools, and hospitals got built.  It is far better to give, than to receive.

Silver Screen is rather fun; Flynn and Eve go on a date to see one of her favorite black-and-white detective films.  And end up sucked in.  They have to play out the rest of the story in order to leave; and it’s a bit hilarious at times, and they enjoy themselves.  But the film does not end the way Eve remembers.  Jenkins tracks down the solution; the writer’s secretary had written the story in order to reveal her own daughter, but it got covered up (mother and daughter are reunited in the end).  And the other three Librarians travel through other films (Stone gets to sing, and then they end up in space).

A town turns old in Bleeding Crown and a former Librarian jumps through time to help.  Flynn fanboys for a bit over Darrington Dare, which is rather sweet.  But Darrington warns Flynn that the Library can only have one Librarian; more than one and the in-fighting will destroy the Library.  And say hello to Porthos again (Howard Charles); he plays the villainous wizard .  Their relationship apparently inspired Holmes and Moriaty; they are nemesis, and the only people in each others’ lives.  The wizard is attempting to create clones, but they age really quick, so he plans to steal the souls of others to stabilize his creations.  Darrington is willing to let the other Librarians die, but Flynn will not.  They are his friends and just as important as the Library.  And his talk to Darrington actually influenced Darrington’s life; he was fated to die the day he returned to the past, but they discover that he changed his ways and lived a longer, fuller life.  But he still warns Flynn there can only be one Librarian.

Eve meets up with Nicole in Graves of Time; she wants to help a fellow Guardian.  Nicole has been using her graves (she faked her death every twenty years to avoid suspicion) to hide an artifact.  Flynn and Jenkins follow them; Jenkins still does not trust Nicole.  Eve and Jenkins get captured by the old man [if he looks familiar, he’s played by Christopher Heyerdahl {Thor Heyerdahl was his father’s cousin; blame my brother for me recognizing the surname} and he’s appeared in Scorpion, MacGyver, Castle.  He’s Marcus in Twilight and oh yeah, Alastair in Supernatural] following Nicole, who claims that Nicole was a follower of Rasputin and caused the downfall of the Romanov family.  Actually, he was Rasputin and immortal.  He stabs Nicole, but Flynn feeds Rasputin radiation in order to kill him.  Jenkins believes that Nicole was protecting the Library, so he siphons off his immortality to save her.  Sadly, the episode ends with Flynn gone and his tethering ring left behind.  Jenkins feels Flynn has resigned and now the fate of the Library is in question.

The team finds a mystery in Disenchanted Forest; people have been disappearing.  The neighboring team-building camp plans to expand and this forest is connected to all other forests.  It finds its mouthpiece through Jacob.  DOSA even agrees to help protect the land, granting it “Area 51 Status.”  Jacob had also befriended a reporter who got fired for writing about magic and the Library.  So she doesn’t feel like a complete lunatic, Jacob shows her the Library, but she cannot reveal the secret and Jacob cannot be with her.  In Hidden Sanctuary, Cassandra leaves the Library for the safest town in America; she froze during a recent mission and it’s been haunting her.  So now, she wants a safe life without people depending on her.  And she enjoys her life, but she also uncovers a mystery.  The town councilman had once made a wish after saving a fairy that no one would have accidents again.  Cassandra’s arrival through the Magic Door weakened the spell containing the fairy, but she talks the fairy down, with some help, from wreaking vengeance upon the town.  Cassandra luckily returns to the Library.

Town Called Feud hosts a Civil War reenactment, focused on brothers who served on both sides, then ended up killing each other.  During this year’s event, a ghost appears and says “the brothers are rising.”  Cassandra stays back with Jenkins, to have high tea and some research (it’s rather adorable), so Eve takes Jake and Ezekiel to investigate.  A locket played into the legend, supposedly broken and will now be attached.  Jake and Ezekiel start arguing, like brothers do; there’s also the underlying tension that one of the three remaining Librarians will need to tether to Eve to protect the Library.  The two brothers’ ghosts indeed rise, as do their armies, and take over the town.  Jack and Ezekiel aim guns at each other, but miss.  As do the armies.  Turns out, the brothers had reconciled on the battlefield, to protect their families.  “The world needs brothers being brothers.”

Jenkins faces his own trials with Some Dude Named Jeff.  Jeff bought a grimoire online and used a spell to trade places with Jenkins.  He and his friends play a D&D campaign as the Librarians and Jeff wanted to have a cool life.  So Jenkins must get out of Jeff’s body and back into the Library.  He reluctantly recruits Jeff’s friends to get him in the back door.  The other Librarians eventually figure out that Jeff is not Jenkins, but before they could do anything, the grimoire released Asmodeus [yep, character appeared in Supernatural as well, a prince of Hell].  Jeff and Jenkins battle side-by-side and trap the prince again.  And Jenkins has gained some new friends, who are very interested in his tales of Arthur’s Court.  As long as he gets to be the dungeon master do they do it right.  A fairly light-hearted episode.  Which is good because…

Events begin to come to a head in Trial of the One.  The Library is reverting to protecting only its artifacts, since Eve has not chosen a Librarian to tether with.  It takes over Jenkins and has the three Librarians fight to the death to decide who will tether.  Eve fights back and brings the Librarians together again, but Jenkins is mortally wounded.  The three Librarians all resign over Jenkins’ death.  Stone no longer trusts the Library; for Ezekiel, the Library crossed a line; and Cassandra hates the Library now.  Nicole pops in and circles a grieving Eve.  This was all Nicole’s plan (we knew Jenkins was right not to trust her) to destroy the Library.  She feels the Library betrayed her.  The Library fades around Eve.  She arrives in a black and white world in Echoes of Memory.  She uses the memory palace technique to focus on specific aspects of the Library to keep it in tact; the Spear of Destiny, the Ark of the Covenant, and the lion statues.  Flynn’s tethering ring gives her a clue and she stumbles across a recorded message from Flynn.  He did not leave the Library of his own violation; Nicole kidnapped him.  Flynn loves Eve and was ready to tether.  But now Eve has to find Flynn; and the other Librarians.

This world is run by “the Company” [and reminds me a lot of 1984; I hated that book] and everything is blah.  No one seeks knowledge.  Eve finds Jake selling beige cars, but sparks his memory of the Library.  They find Cassandra next, still working complex math problems.  Ezekiel runs the only show in town, but still likes to pick locks.  Eve is captured by Nicole and put in a mental hospital, where everyone else who questions things is put.  Eve finds Flynn who has held on to his own memories, despite several attempts by Nicole to wipe his mind.  She’s trying to hang on to the man she had fallen in love with and had hoped for centuries would rescue her.  Eve finds Flynn and they share a kiss.  Eve remembers the Library now and Flynn vows to never leave her or the Library ever again.  And she still loves this nice, cute, and completely crazy man.

The other three begin to remember their gifts and mount a rescue for Eve and Flynn.  They’re soon trapped however, but Eve encourages them to manifest the Library where they stand.  It’s full of art, science, and magic and it values each Librarian.  It lives in each of them and Flynn is the heart and soul of the Library.  Nicole can only watch as the Library returns and her plan fails.  While our heroes are back in the Library, Jenkins is still dead.  But Flynn won’t give up; he has a crazy idea to rewrite history just enough.  He jumps through a portal to the moment when Nicole will take the immortality potion and he begs her to help the Library.  He cannot rescue her, but she is still the Library’s Guardian.  She agrees and Flynn wakes up back at the tethering ceremony rehearsal, from the beginning of the season.  He re-wrote everything that happened.  Eve remembers, but the other three don’t.  The couple asks Jenkins (who is alive, huzzah!) to perform the ceremony now, don’t wait for the solstice.

I’m glad things worked out alright, but I’m not fond of the Nicole plot.  I wasn’t terribly fond of her in Spear of Destiny because she was often dismissive of Flynn.  This season was a bit of a letdown after the previous season.  I know there was no big bad to defeat, but there are plenty more stories and artifacts to explore.  This felt a bit like a cop-out.

There have been a few tie-in novels published: The Lost Lamp, The Mother Goose Case, and The Pot of Gold.  I recommend them all!

And of course, there is some rather good fanfiction stories out there.

Check out Hedgehog-O-Brien on AO3 for some trio Librarian fluff.

And icarus_chained weaves in some mythology and introspection on Jenkins.

Up Next: Air Force One

Time Travel Gives You a Headache

Season Two

Drowned Book starts with a flashback to the beginning of season one, when magic surges back through the ley lines.  An older man summons a character from Sherlock Holmes; “I have need of your genius, sir.”  Fast forward to present day, everyone ends up invited to the same New York museum, but on different cases.  Eve suggests working together, but they’ve all gotten used to doing their own thing.  A strange storm blows in and Eve and Flynn meet James Worth (played by the dashing David S. Lee; he’s been in episodes of Castle, NCIS and NCIS:LA), head of antiquities from Oxford.  James charms Eve and can match Flynn for deducting.  The three younger Librarians end up teaming up again to solve their problems and Flynn realizes that Worth is a fictional.  His first guess is Sherlock Holmes (and he’s ever so excited), but Worth is actually Moriarty.  But he’s not the true mastermind connecting all the artifacts.  That would be Prospero, Shakespeare’s wizard from The Tempest.  Prospero is a Fictional so powerful, he rose from his own tale.  But he wants to control his own story, not be bound by what Shakespeare wrote.  He and Moriarty manage to disappear, but the Librarians have to deal with the storm that is spiraling out of control.  They end up using a sun from the Library to burn off the cold air and save New York.  Flynn sulks that he liked being able to do things his way, but Eve points out that pooling information works just as well.

In Broken Staff, Flynn and Eve follow up clues to keep Prospero from regaining more of his power, while Prospero and Moriarty manage to make it into the Library.  They hold Jenkins hostage for a bit, asking about the Heart of the Library, the Tree of Knowledge.  Again, it takes all of the Librarians, including Flynn and Eve to defeat the traps Prospero has laid.  Flynn burns a Tree to thwart Prospero (not actually the Tree of Knowledge, he hopes it wasn’t important).  But the Library has also been re-arranging itself and sixteen artifacts are missing.  Eve again suggests that Flynn carry on searching for the artifacts alone while she helps the other three Librarians settle the Library.

The three younger Librarians head to Jacob’s home state to solve a rift in the Earth in What Lies Beneath the Stone.  Jacob’s not thrilled about returning home; he kept his academic life very secret at home and he’s been saying “family ain’t easy” for a while.  He has strong disagreements with his father, but the Librarian job is more important.  They pass Ezekiel off as the expert since Stone’s father is dismissive of him and eventually work out that it’s a Native American trickster who has been set free and causing chaos; feeding off lies.  It looks like Jacob reconciles with his father for a moment, but it was the shapeshifter.  Jacob fights him off and locks him away again.  He still does not tell his father the truth, because he has realized that he doesn’t need his father’s approval.  So he signs his own name to the academic paper he is writing.  The team heads to Wexler University in Cost of Education, where people are strangely disappearing.  Cassandra meets another girl who is tracking magic and linking it with science.  A tentacle monster from another dimension is stealing people who are full of ego.  Cassandra follows her new friend into the wormhole to rescue her, but is stopped for a brief moment by the ladies of the Lake Foundation, interested in combining science and math.  Cassandra is content with being a Librarian, but the invitation stands.  She disagrees with Jenkins on whether magic should be studied or not.  Ezekiel sadly loses his new gargoyle friend, Stumpy.

In Hollow Men, Flynn pops back in to find the Eye of Zarathustra, which “is the key to the door of Lost Knowledge, the Staff summoned by Sun and Rue.”  But he’s quickly separated from the rest of the Librarians, held by a strange man who somehow knows Flynn, but not really.  Prospero is also after the staff and Moriarty still flirts with Eve.  She ends up having to team up with the antagonist in order to find Flynn.  And it turns out, Flynn is traveling with the intelligence of the Library.  Meanwhile, the other three work with Jenkins to keep the Library from completely dying.  Ray regains his memories, though Moriarty has to take the staff to save him. The Library is wholly restored.  Baird visits an old friend in Infernal Contract; Sam Denning (Michael Trucco, he’s appeared in several TV shows, including Castle as a similarly named Detective Tom Demming that was interested in Kate) is running for mayor in a small town.  But turns out that his opponent’s family has had a long running deal with a devil (played by John de Lancie, a few episodes of Charmed and Stargate SG-1, and Q in Star Trek); a bit like crossroad demons in Supernatural.  Eve, Jenkins, and the Librarians manage to trick the devil and rescue Sam and the town.  Jenkins sweetly takes care of the three ill Librarians at the end and points out that Eve’s job as Guardian is to save the Librarians’ souls.

The team gets to go clubbing in London in Image of Image, trying to figure out how people are mysteriously dying from something they weren’t doing.  They’re all connected to Club Effigy, where pictures mark them as the next victim.  There’s a charming Englishman who turns out to be Dorian Gray.  Any of his vices are passed onto his victims, keeping him young and beautiful.  Until Ezekiel and Cassandra turn the tables on him.  Jenkins once again counsels Eve on the upcoming battle between good and evil.  Jenkins goes to a Fae for information on Prospero at the beginning of Point of Salvation.  The rest of the team gets stuck in a video game scenario at a DARPA lab.  Ezekiel is the only one who remembers each pass and gets tired of seeing his friends die.  He forces them to believe him and follow him, even sacrificing himself at the end.  Jacob and Cassandra figure out a way to bring him back and now he doesn’t remember his heroic deeds [or does he?].  Prospero attacks in the final moments.  He created a spell that wiped the memory of Eve, Cassandra, Ezekiel, and Jacob from Jenkins’ mind in Happily Ever After.  Flynn heads off to find them and discovers they’re leading new, but similar lives together on a small island.  Eve is the sheriff, dating Moriarty.  Cassandra has been to the moon, Jacob teaches eleven different classes at the university, and Ezekiel is an FBI agent, but their home base seems to resemble a library.  Flynn teams up with the sprite, Ariel [she is adorable] to bring his family’s memories back.  Eve has to do the same for Flynn at the end because his perfect life is one puzzle after another that he solves by himself.  But they’ve been under the spell for three weeks, Jenkins reports.  The ley lines have been supercharged by Prospero; it means the end of the world.

A giant forest begins to cover the earth in Final Curtain.  Due to a wet hand, Flynn and Eve finally realize the strange note they found in John Dee’s estate in Drowned Book was written by Flynn in his left hand.  They use time travel to go back to when Shakespeare wrote The Tempest, but it breaks upon their departure.  Now Jenkins and the other three Librarians have to follow the rest of the clues to stop Prospero in the present.  Prospero has one final task for Moriarty and sends him back in time as well.  But Moriarty wants vengeance on his taskmaster for holding him prisoner and decides the best way to do that is to try to kill Shakespeare.  Obviously, that does not work out, but Flynn and Eve discover that Prospero is Shakespeare transformed.  His quill is magical, part of the Tree of Knowledge gifted to him by John Dee.  With it, Shakespeare transforms into the wizard so he can escape a failure in his career.  Moriarty is swiftly dealt with by Prospero, and he almost drowns Eve.  She rises out of the water, like the Lady of the Lake (aided by the ladies of the Lake), throwing Excalibur to Flynn to defeat Prospero.  So it follows that old adage of King Arthur, that he who wields Excalibur will do so once more and save England.  The other three turn Prospero back into Shakespeare in the present, using some of Shakespeare’s’ work to define themselves.  A portal opens that can send Shakespeare back to his time, but Flynn and Eve cannot come forward.  However, they figure out how to do time travel the long way round, leaving the notes they need for themselves and asking Shakespeare to use his magic quill one last time to make them into a statue that is delivered to the Library for safekeeping.  The other three free them from their very long kiss and heck, even Cal is back.

It’s adorable how much this team continues to become a family.  Since I am not fully versed in Shakespeare, I probably miss some of the nuisances of Prospero being the villain, but Moriarty is excellent; almost sympathetic at times.  I’m glad that Flynn takes Eve with him to defeat Prospero, rather than leaving her behind and handling the mission on his own; and I’m even happier that they don’t stay stuck in Elizabethan England forever.

Next Time: Season Three

Offering You the Chance to Save the World, Twice Before Friday

Season One

Flynn Carson is back, still protecting the world from dangerous magical artifacts (Noah Wyle is billed as “special guest star” since he couldn’t star in two television shows at the same time).  He’s been doing the job, alone, for eleven years.  Though it turns out that the Library wants to add to the team.  It recruits Colonel Eve Baird (played by Rebecca Romijn, who was Mystique/Raven in the 2000’s X-Men trilogy), head of a NATO terrorist task force, to become Flynn’s Guardian.  As Charlene points out, Flynn hasn’t had a proper Guardian since Nicole (in the first movie).  We also find out that Judson passed away five years previous, though his spirit still speaks to Flynn in a mirror (and Flynn’s mother apparently had passed as well).

In The Crown of King Arthur, Eve helps Flynn solve the mystery of why experts are being killed; one professor had been trying to reach Flynn regarding a painting.  The connection?  He had been invited to interview at the Library the same day Flynn was hired; the professor was only a few people behind Flynn.  There are a few top candidates left alive.  Cassandra Cillian (played by Lindy Booth who has starred in a few Hallmark movies, including playing a librarian falling in back in love with a football star) is startlingly brilliant with math and science, but they sometimes get cross-wired with her other senses and a brain tumor pushes her death sooner rather than later.  Ezekiel Jones (John Harlan Kim, he has appeared in a few episodes of NCIS: LA and Hawaii Five-0) is a master thief, and Jacob Stone (Christian Kane, previously starred in Leverage, and I absolutely loved his appearance as an old friend of Dean’s in Supernatural; complete with singing Good Ol’ Boys [one of my favorite scenes of the entire show]) is a genius art historian who hides out in his hometown.  Yes, apparently ninjas do pop up in Oklahoma, sent by the Serpent Brotherhood. 

Eve and Flynn bring the other three to the Library to keep them safe.  One of them excitedly asks if vampires are real.  Flynn answers yes to vampires, no to Dracula, because he killed him (call back to the third movie).  Cassandra is glad to have lived long enough to find out magic is real, but Jacob wants to know why no one sees is.  Response: it’s buried in ley lines.  Long ago, the world was filled with magic, but it was drained off and stored in artifacts; which is why the Librarian travels the world to collect the artifacts and house them safely in the Library.  As technology has risen, magic has faded away.  Stone helps solve the mystery of the painting; it’s The Crown of King Arthur.  The actual crown was apparently created by Merlin to allow Arthur to control the magic of Camelot in order to rule.  Hence why the Serpent Brotherhood wants it; they want to release wild magic back into the world and create chaos; that they will rule.

Flynn catches up to Eve and the trio in Munich.  The painting supports the Roman hypothesis of Arthur [we’ve seen that in a few of the prior Arthurian legend movies], but the painting is actually a fake, Stone points out.  They quickly discover that the museum was built around the painting; it’s a clue (after arguing for a bit, it’s like the inside of Flynn’s mind has spilled out, but louder).  It leads outside to a sundial, which leads to a henge in the German forest.  All the while, trying to keep ahead of the Brotherhood, led by Lamia, a skilled female fighter.  The good guys recover the crown with a bit of shenanigans. 

Flynn intends to send the three newcomers home, but an alarm is set off.  The Serpent Brotherhood has gotten inside the Library.  But with the security upgrade, someone would have had to let them in.  Sadly, it was Cassandra.  The Brotherhood promised her magic would cure her brain tumor.  Lamia gains the crown and calls Excalibur to her, though Flynn puts up a fight.  He’s stabbed with Excalibur, and even though he takes a healing tonic, it cannot cure wounds dealt by a magical weapon.  Flynn will die.

The adventure immediately picks up in Sword in the Stone.  Judson and Charlene work together to protect the Library, meaning they lock it into its own pocket dimension.  Flynn mourns the their loss and the loss of his home.  Eve and the three men are met by an elderly gentleman who agrees to help them and takes them to the Library’s Annex.  You can still access any of the books from the Library.  Its’ caretaker is Jenkins (the veteran John Larroquette, got an early start with Black Sheep Squadron, then broke out in Night Court amongst his long career), who is eager to send them on their way so he can return to his peace and research.  Jenkins encourages Eve to help Flynn; she gives him a pep talk so he will save the world one last time.

Meanwhile, Cassandra meets, Dulaque (Matt Frewer, who provided several animated voices to various series and appeared as Pestilence in Supernatural), the leader of the Serpent Brotherhood.  Excalibur is the key to unlocking the Stone, which will release magic.  And the stone is in London.  Through a secret entrance in Buckingham Palace, the royal family has been guarding it for years.  Cassandra helps the Brotherhood, until she discovers their true purpose and is then locked up for her troubles.  She does aid her new friends; Flynn understands why she chose to initially help the Brotherhood, to save herself.  Lamia places Excalibur back in the Stone, but distractions help Flynn gain the Crown and regain Excalibur.  The Brotherhood runs off, but Flynn is still dying and now so is Excalibur.  He offers the sword to heal Cassandra, it has that much magic left.  With Judson and Charlene gone, and Cal dying, it’s Flynn’s time.  Instead, Cassandra chooses to save Flynn.

Flynn feels it is safer for the three young adults to leave, but he vows to find the Library and bring it back.  Though he begins thinking; if he’s in charge now, he can change the rules.  There can be more than one Librarian.  And they can train the Librarian instead of throwing them into sink or swim situations.  He tells everyone to open their envelopes; there are new invitations inside.  Flynn will go off by himself, he’s used to it, but Eve will stay and protect the new Librarians, with Jenkins’ help.  He’s offering them a life a mystery and misery, of loneliness and adventure.  A chance to save the world, twice before Friday.  Flynn bids farewell to Eve who makes him promise not to die, and there is a parting kiss (squee!) [And I still totally want this job!]

The new crew continues their adventures in Horns of Dilemma, where they have to solve the labyrinth of the Minotaur and recover the twine.  (Familiar face is Tricia Helfer, who has been in several Hallmark Channel movies).  And yes, Santa Claus is real (and played by Bruce Campbell, who played Sam Axe in Burn Notice) in Santa’s Midnight Run.  The Serpent Brotherhood plans to kill Santa and the Librarians must stop them.  Eve ends up taking on the role of spreading goodwill back to the human race on Christmas Eve.  She was in fact named “Eve,” for being born on that night.

Ezekiel and Jenkins have to team up and entertain a conclave of magical beings in Apple of Discord while Stone, Cassandra, Eve, and even Flynn shows up to retrieve the dragon’s pearl.  Except hidden inside the pearl is the Apple of Discord, which brings out the worst in everyone.  And Dulaque wants the conclave to vote to disband the Library.  Of course, the heroes prevail and point out that the world needs the Library to protect it from harmful artifacts.  Eve permanently transfers to the Library and sends Flynn back out to do his thing (of course, with a parting kiss).  The Librarians’ next case is the Fables of Doom, where fairytales are coming to life in a small town.  Eve does ask Ezekiel to not antagonize local law enforcement, though he argues it is fun.  An old book, the Librus Fabula brings fairytales to life, but will re-write reality and sucks life from those trapped in its stories.  The local librarian is using it on a young girl and our heroes slowly turn into archetypes: Jacob is the Huntsman, Cassandra is Prince Charming, and Eve is the Princess (their clothing and hairstyles change throughout the episode).  Ezekiel is what he always is, the Lucky Thief and he helps the girl recover and rewrite the story so the good guys win.

They encounter magic occurring at a STEM fair in Rule of Three.  Someone has created an app that doubles as a focusing spell, so when the students all imagine beating the leader, bad luck will befall them three times over.  Cassandra gets to shine by combining science and magic.  And they encounter a new foe; Morgan le Fay (played by Alicia Witt, another actress who has appeared in Hallmark Channel movies, and even an episode of Supernatural [I think I may have figured out why so many Hallmark stars are in Supernatural; they both film in Canada]).  Jenkins is furious to encounter her (she calls him Galais) and warns Eve that there is a larger battle coming.  The Librarians save the day, but hints are dropped that something bigger is coming.

Heart of Darkness reminds me of a Supernatural episode.  There is a haunted house that traps people inside.  Eve keeps trying to protect Cassandra, but it is ultimately Cassandra who faces off against Katie.  The house is actually the House of Refuge, until a family of serial killers, the Bloody Benders, moved in [yep, really sounds like a Supernatural episode].  Jacob befriends the local archivist in City of Light.  It is ultimately a town designed by Tesla, but the citizens got trapped between worlds and the streetlights are the only thing tying them to this world.  They try to recreate Tesla’s plan to bring everyone back, but Cassandra works out that too much could go wrong and harm too many people.  Mabel sacrifices herself to shut it off.  Though there is a ray of hope at the end; Jenkins has Eve write down an appointment for future Librarians, so maybe there will be a way to bring them back.

The season ends with Loom of Fate.  It begins with Flynn meeting the team at an Egyptian tomb; he has an idea on how to bring the Library back.  The team helps out with the artifacts they have recovered throughout the year.  But just when Flynn is about to succeed, Dulaque enters and kills Lamia so he can view the Loom of Fate.  Eve and Flynn jump through and Dulaque cuts the Loom at the spot where Camelot fell.  Eve and Flynn then bounce through different timelines, where Flynn did not become the Librarian.  In each case, one of the junior Librarians took the job and they all lost Eve.  In one case, it’s Jacob Stone and Eve who pair up, instead Flynn.  In Cassandra’s case, she studied under Morgan and has a few more clues.  Camelot was the height of magic and power, but with the Loom cut, time is fraying and it will require all three Librarians to get Eve and Flynn back to the Annex and then to the River of Time.  Flynn reweaves the Loom with the labyrinth twine, while Jenkins faces off against a younger Dulaque…as in Lancelot du Lac (played by Jerry O’Connell, among his many television and movie roles, he does play Sheldon’s older brother in Big Bang Theory [Rebecca Romijn’s real-life husband].  Jenkins is actually Galahad [the son of Lancelot and Elaine of Corbenic] and argues against Lancelot wanting to return to Camelot; it wasn’t as great as Lancelot remembers and mortals have earned the right to rule themselves.  Jenkins bests Lancelot and Flynn reverts to his usual self.  They have to get Eve help; Lancelot stabbed her.  But first, Flynn has to finish bringing back the Library.  The Library holds the solution for curing Eve…the same potion Flynn took in Sword in the Stone will actually work on Eve’s wound, though it’s a close thing.  Flynn refused to let Eve die like she had in all other timelines; he does not believe in Fate.  But he’s glad to be home in his Library.  They send the three young Librarians off on their own adventures, and Eve will accompany Flynn on his adventures.

I adore the show even more than I love the movies.  With a television show, there is more time to develop characters and plot lines further.  And of course, I love the integration of Arthurian legend into the story.  Cassandra is a sweetheart, Jacob is the big brother, Ezekiel is the annoying little brother, and Eve just tries to keep them all together.

Up Next: Season Two

“Cry God, for Harry, England, and St. George!”

Partaking in something that satisfies both the historian in me and the English major: Shakespeare.  Now, I believe I have mentioned before that I am not a dutiful English major; I don’t like Shakespeare, well, I don’t like reading Shakespeare.  It’s boring and most teachers pound it into our skulls by analyzing it to death.  I hate that.  But, BBC put together a phenomenal cast and put Shakespeare’s histories on screen (which I am aware has been done before, heck, I tried to watch a version of Macbeth starring Patrick Stewart and couldn’t make it through it.  Now, there was a slightly modern version of Hamlet done with David Tennant that was fantastic).  They timed the first arc to coincide with the 2012 London Olympics; this arc included Richard II, Henry IV parts I and II, and Henry V.  Their second arc included Henry VI and Richard III in 2016.

Gut reactions?  Richard II was a bit odd.  Henry IV was wonderful to see and Henry V is utterly magnificent.  Henry VI is simply everyone changing sides and the start of the War of the Roses and is interesting to see from this perspective.  As for Richard III; I remember doing a segment on the historical accuracy of the play in a British history course in college and I can certainly see the Tudor propaganda in the play (oh, they all cut out and condense history, but then, these are plays, not true histories…actually, I’d like to see historical documentaries on these people), yet I now see what all the hype is about.

Above all, these are a veritable who’s who in British acting.

Richard II stars Ben Whishaw (Q in Craig’s James Bond and Michael Banks in Mary Poppins Returns) as the king.  Opposite him is Rory Kinnear (also appears with Whishaw in Skyfall, and Spectre as Bill Tanner, which he briefly played in Quantum of Solace as well) as Bolingbroke, who goes on to be crowned Henry IV.  The great Patrick Stewart appears as John of Gaunt.  If Thomas Mowbray, who argues with Bolingbroke, looks familiar, that’s because he’s played by James Purefoy, who portrays Colville aka Edward, the Black Prince of Wales in A Knight’s Tale [making this a bit funny to a historian, because Edward, the Black Prince of Wales was Richard II’s father: his father was King Edward III, but he died before his father did and so thus, his son inherited the throne].  David Morrissey appears as the Earl of Northumberland.  He’s also been the Duke of Norfolk in The Other Boleyn Girl [uncle to Anne], and has appeared in a 2008 episode of Doctor Who, “The Next Doctor”.  We briefly see David Bradley (Filch in Harry Potter and Walter Frey in Game of Thrones) as the gardener and Lindsay Duncan (also appeared in a 2009 episode of Doctor Who, “Water of Mars,” she was the mother in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, a queen in two episodes of Merlin, and Lady Smallwood in several episodes of Sherlock) as the Duchess of York.

The very gifted Jeremy Irons (Scar in The Lion King [the animated classic], Tiberius in Kingdom of Heaven, Brom in Eragon, Aramis in The Man in the Iron Mask, and Alfred in several of DC’s newer Batman movies) takes over as the older Henry IV.  Tom Hiddleston (we love him as Loki in the MCU) shines as Prince Hal.  Julie Walters (Mrs. Wealsey in Harry Potter and Rosie in both Mamma Mia movies) is Mistress Quickly, Robert Pugh (he’s Craster in Game of Thrones, amongst other roles in Kingdom of Heaven, The White Queen [which also depicts the War of the Roses], and Master and Commander) is Owain Glyndŵr [that is the proper spelling, IMDB lists him as Owen Glendower; a real Welsh rebel that I’ve got a book on].  Oh hey, there’s Michelle Dockery (Mary in Downton Abbey) as Kate Percy, and Harry Lloyd (Baines in 2007’s Doctor Who “Human Nature” and “The Family of Blood,” Will Scarlett in BBC’s Robin Hood, and insane Viserys Targaryen in Game of Thrones) is Mortimer, and Joe Armstrong (Allan a Dale in Robin Hood) is Hotspur.  His father, Alum Armstrong (he’s had roles in Van Helsing, Braveheart, and Patriot Games amongst others) plays Hotspur’s father Northumberland, and Iain Glen (Jorah Mormont in Game of Thrones, Sir Richard Carlisle in Downton Abbey, and 2010’s Doctor Who “The Time of Angels” and “Flash and Stone”) pops up as Warwick.

Of course, Prince Hal graduates to King Henry V in the next installment.  This was the bit that makes me almost like Shakespeare.  Tom Hiddleston delivers some of the best known speeches with such quiet passion.  “Once more unto the breach,” stirs my blood, and he got the role of Henry V with “St. Crispin’s day,” which includes that famous line: “we few/ we happy few/ we band of brothers.”  One almost cries.  And his wooing of Katherine…if a dashing man ever said those words to me, I’d be weak-kneed.  I remember rehearsals for faire, male cast members are encouraged to woo female patrons (worked on me when I was a patron), and so they practiced on female cast members; I was just happy some guy was saying nice words to me, I didn’t really care what he was saying.

If Corporal Nym [grrr, I hate his name’s “Nym,” because I want to use it for a headstrong female character in my saga] looks familiar, he’s Tom Brooke and he’s appeared briefly in a few Sherlock episodes.  And look, there’s Richard Griffiths (Vernon Dursely in Harry Potter, King George in On Stranger Tides) as the Duke of Burgundy [this was one of his last roles].  The ever talented John Hurt (the dragon Kilgarah in Merlin, the War Doctor of Doctor Who, Ollivander in Harry Potter, Professor Oxley in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Montrose in Rob Roy, and other roles going back to the 60’s)  acts as the chorus [and he just passed away in 2017].  Some other familiar faces join us in Henry V; Anton Lesser (Qyburn in Game of Thrones, an episode of The Musketeers, Harold Warne in Miss Potter, and other roles) as Exeter [he’ll stay on through Henry VI and Richard III] and Owen Teale (part of some older Doctor Who episodes, The Last Legion, and the Headmaster in Tolkien, but I’m sure we recognize him as Thorne in Game of Thrones ) as Captain Fluellen.

Tom Sturridge takes up the mantle of Henry VI.  Sophie Okonedo (Liz Ten in “The Beast Below” and “The Pandorica Opens” in 2010’s Doctor Who) joins him as Margaret of Anjou, and Hugh Bonneville (Robert Crawley in Downton Abbey, Monuments Men, several episodes of Doctor Who as a pirate captain, he was even in Tomorrow Never Dies) is so encouraging as Gloucester.  Michael Gambon (Dumbledore in Harry Potter, Lord Charles Fox in Amazing Grace, and he’s even appeared in Doctor Who 2010’s “A Christmas Carol”) briefly appears as Mortimer.

In the second part, Benedict Cumberbatch (Doctor Strange, Sherlock, Khan in Star Trek: Into Darkness, amongst other roles) pops up as the Duke of York [called Plantagenet in Shakespeare as a claimant to the old royal dynasty]’s son Richard.  Phoebe Fox (the Duchess of Savoy in The Musketeers) is Anne Neville.  James Fleet as Hastings has been in several period pieces.  And say hello to the appearance of Andrew Scott (C in Spectre and Moriarty in Sherlock) as King Louis of France.  Somerset is played by Ben Miles (Peter Townsend in The Crown), and George, the Duke of Clarence is played by Sam Troughton (Much in BBC’s Robin Hood).

Benedict takes center stage in Richard III.  He is brilliant in the role.  I dislike the character of Richard, but Benedict delivers exquisitely.  Let me go on a little historical accuracy rant: historical evidence proves that Richard was not a hunchback; he may have had a slight difference in shoulder height, but is regarded to have been a tall, broad-shouldered man.  Nor was he the “Machiavellian villain” Shakespeare depicts him as, at least, no more than any other man of that time.  Shakespeare wrote him as a villain to please the Elizabethan court in order to paint her grandfather as a benevolent conqueror.  As another historian pointed out to me, if Richard had the princes of the tower in his custody, he could have produced them in order to throw suspicion off himself.  We also get the addition of Judi Dench as Richard’s mother, Cecily.

Historical note: there are several “Duke of Gloucester” throughout the plays and throughout history, because it is a title, typically a relative of the monarch.  Same as the Duke of York, and Mortimer is a title (which I got confused a bit, seeing a Mortimer in Henry IV and one in Henry VI.)  I swear, one needs a family tree to reference when watching these histories.  I’ll try to explain the central plot of the War of the Roses as best I can.  Edward III had several sons, the eldest of which was Edward, the Black Prince of Wales.  His third son (his second died young-ish) was John of Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster, his fourth son was Edmund, holding the title Duke of York, and his fifth son was Thomas, the Duke of Gloucester.  The Black Prince’s son was Richard II.  The way that Bolingbroke claimed the throne was that he had a right to it as the son of Edward’s third son (hence, Richard and Bolingbroke were cousins and until Bolingbroke’s exile, they were close).  Bolingbroke became Henry IV [Lancaster], who has at least four sons, the eldest of whom became Henry V.  Henry V died tragically young and his son, Henry VI, assumed the throne incredibly young, only nine months old.  England was ruled by the Lord Protector, his uncle, Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester (one of Henry V’s brothers).

Then along comes Richard, Duke of York (the great-great-grandson of the Edward III’s second son by way of Lionel, Duke of Clarence’s daughter, then grandson, then great-granddaughter).  Just like Bolingbroke challenged Richard II for the throne due to ineptitude, the Duke of York [white rose] challenged Henry VI [followers wore a red rose].  The Duke of York’s son, Edward took the throne, becoming King Edward IV.  He had three children with Elizabeth Woodville; Elizabeth of York, Edward (briefly Edward V), and Richard (also holding the title Duke of York).   Edward IV has several younger brothers, including George, the Duke of Clarence, and Richard, the Duke of Gloucester.  Once Edward IV and George were dead, Richard declared Edward IV’s marriage to Elizabeth Woodville unlawful, making his offspring with her illegitimate.  He took the throne as Richard III.  There’s the York contingent.

But back with John of Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster, his second marriage produced several generations, to John Beaufort, the Earl of Somerset, then his son John, then his daughter Margaret Beaufort, who married Edmund Tudor, the Earl of Richmond, and then had Henry, who in Shakespeare was called Richmond, thus making him the Lancastrian claimant.  [Edmund Tudor was the son of Owen Tudor (a Welshman), who married the widowed Katherine (wife of Henry V)…as for Henry V’s claim of “I am Welsh, as you know,”…well, he was Prince of Wales and born there, but not actually Welsh by blood; I would guess it was a line Shakespeare inserted to play to Queen Elizabeth’s Welsh ancestry].  Henry Tudor became Henry VII and he married Elizabeth of York (remember, Edward IV’s eldest daughter) and uniting the Lancastrians and Yorkists and ending the War of the Roses  From here, we should know how things go from there for a bit.

This is the sort of stuff that fascinates me as a historian; how the different lines come together and play out.  And I understand Shakespeare’s language a bit better watching it performed, more of a dialogue rather than verse.

On a different note: I highly recommend Netflix’s Enola Holmes film.  Millie Bobby Brown is precisely the female heroine we need; smart and not afraid of action.  Henry Cavill is a calmer Sherlock Holmes, but I greatly desire to see more of these characters.  I may just check out the novels the film was based on.

Dreams Can Kill You

Die Another Day

Brosnan’s last Bond film, sadly.  Also features Halle Berry (Storm in the early 2000’s X-Men) as Jinx, Toby Stephens (Prince John in BBC’s Robin Hood…oh, and I found out…he’s Dame Maggie Smith’s son!) as Gustav Graves, Rosamund Pike (very odd to watch her in this role after getting accustomed to the serene Jane in Pride and Prejudice, but she is a marvelous actress and this was her feature film debut) as Miranda Frost.  And if the one henchman, Kill looks familiar, he’s a Kiwi and did several bit parts in Lord of the Rings and Hobbit.  Young Colonel Moon is played by Wil Yun Lee who occasionally showed up in the rebooted Hawaii Five-0 as Sang Min.  Madonna performed the opening song (in good company with Sir Paul McCartney who did Only the Good Die Young), and made a cameo in the film as Verity, the fencing instructor.

We begin in North Korea, still a hotspot, though Bond oddly surfs in (because you don’t really think of Bond surfing) and takes over a meeting with two young Koreans; a general’s son, Colonel Moon and his bodyguard, Zao, over diamonds.  But he’s found out and tries to escape.  The C-4 he planted into the briefcase explodes, shooting diamonds into Zao.  Bond then chases Colonel Moon over a minefield in a hovercraft (Mythbusters did prove that this was plausible). Moon goes over a waterfall and Bond escapes, only to be captured by General Moon then tortured for fourteen months during the opening credits (the scorpions are creepy).

The general returns, hoping one last time to turn Bond on his former employers, who left him to rot and denied his existence.  General Moon also knows that there is a Western agent who flipped his son; he had hoped that  Western education would have been a bridge for his country, but he betrayed his country.  The general wants to know who; they most likely betrayed Bond as well.  But Bond doesn’t know and won’t tell.  He figures he will face a firing squad, but is instead part of a prisoner exchange with Zao.  He’s taken to medical before he can ask any questions.  M finally shows up and discusses the situation with him.  If she had had her way, Bond would still be a captive; his freedom came at too high a price – Zao.  The Americans fear that Bond was a leak in the prison, giving up secrets and they had to get him out.  But Bond had not broken.  He understood the danger every agent faces; they get caught, they’re on their own, there is no rescue.  But M can’t be entirely sure; with the drugs in his system, Bond may not have known if he was giving up information.  Bond insists someone else betrayed him.  “You’re no use to anyone now,” M remarks as she leaves.  Which simply encourages Bond to escape by lowering his heart rate, then springing into action.  He jumps ship and walks into the Hong Kong Yacht Club.

The manager knows him, even with the beard, and sets him up with a suite, food, and clothes.  Then sends a masseuse.  Bond knows it’s a trap and reveals that the manager works for Chinese Intelligence, but won’t rat him out, if he continues to help him.  Zao is a threat to them as well.  He’s pointed to Cuba, specifically a gene therapy clinic.  In Cuba, Bond meets a young woman as she emerges from the water (a throwback to the first Bond girl in Dr. No), Jinx.  The two flirt then hop in bed with one another (because it’s Bond).  Jinx is gone come morning, already heading into the clinic.  Bond sneaks in and discovers Zao.  They get in a fight and Jinx kills the head doctor and uses his computer to look up Zao.  A fire breaks out and then the building blows up, courtesy of Jinx.  Both Bond and Jinx chase Zao, but he gets away in a helicopter.  Bond did get a necklace he was wearing and discovers diamonds in it.  His contact informs him they are laser-etched in the signature of Gustav Graves, yet they have the chemical makeup of African conflict diamonds; just like the ones that Bond blew up at the beginning of the film [note, it is not that easy to simply tell where a diamond is from, and they do not travel in briefcases like in the beginning].

Bond knows he must return to Britain and meet this Gustav Graves (he parachutes into media meetings).  Graves is due to unveil his latest project, the Icarus Space Program.  Bond meets the man face-to-face at a fencing club and the two men try to one-up each other in sword fighting, under the guise of playing for a diamond, starting with foils and moving up to broadswords (it’s not great sword work, but still a bit flashy and makes you wonder who will bleed first).  Bond wins, but Graves’ assistant, Miranda Frost has to break them apart.  Graves invites Bond to his gala in Iceland.  Bond receives a key as he leaves and uses it in a backdoor.  He trades information with M, though he’s not officially reinstated.  Q goes over his new gadgets, including virtual reality simulation glasses, a car that uses mirrors to appear invisible, a ring to break glass, and his twentieth watch (a nod to this being the twentieth Bond film).  We see M briefly speak to Miranda Frost; apparently an MI6 agent whose three month assignment has been to get close to Graves.  Frost determines he is clean and reports she is wise enough to not get involved with Bond.

An Ice Palace has been created for Graves’ event in Iceland.  He continues to get his thrills by driving a high-speed ice car.  We also note that Jinx has arrived for the gala and Bond tries to flirt with Frost (not knowing she is MI6) and gets nowhere.  Zao also happily greets Graves.  Graves introduces his Icarus Project as a seeming “second sun,” with use to grow crops year-round and bring light to darkness.  Later, it seems that Icarus has been modified for Graves’ use, and Jinx has wandered off.  Frost gives herself away as MI6 to Bond by kissing him as a distraction and telling him she told M she didn’t want him there.  They bed each other to continue the charade as lovers, but Bond leaves to take care of the situation.  Jinx in the meantime has snuck into Graves’ lab and is captured by his henchman.  His henchman wants to use the lasers to kill Jinx, but Bond stumbles upon her and rescues her. 

Bond then confronts Graves, who has lived to die another day – Graves used gene therapy to change his face from Colonel Moon.  Miranda arrives, and betrays Bond…again.  She was the agent who sided with Moon and got Bond captured.  Bond uses his ring to break glass to escape, then drives away in Graves’ ice car.  Graves uses Icarus as a laser to chase Bond, but Bond skis out of trouble (with noticeable CGI).  Then Zao drives his own car after Bond in his gadget car.  Bond crashes into the Ice Palace to rescue Jinx, who will soon drown in a melting Palace that Graves hit with his laser.  Zao is also killed in a crash in the Palace.

Jinx and Bond head to South Korea; Jinx is an American NSA agent and they are formally teaming up to take down Graves.  The two agents manage to get on Graves’ plane as the Americans attempt to blow up Icarus, which does not work out.  Graves/Moon reveals himself to his father, expecting him to be proud, but General Moon is not (seems he has more honor than his son).  He’s killed and a hole is blown into the airplane, causing massive suction.  Frost (in a ridiculous skimpy outfit for no good reason) takes on Jinx with a sword.  Jinx has set the plane to fly into Icarus.  Bond takes on Graves; Graves electrocutes Bond, then takes the last parachute, but Bond opens it early, dragging the man into the engine.  The plane is falling apart, Jinx manages to stab Frost, and the good guys have to use Graves’ fancy helicopter to escape (which luckily has the diamonds inside).  They put those diamonds to “good” use when they snuggle up with each other in a remote cottage.

I’m not thrilled with Jinx as a Bond girl; I will admit, they at least give her some action and motivation, but barely and she gets captured and stuck twice, to be rescued by Bond.  Frost, meanwhile, is far more intriguing.  Jinx was too easy.  It’s a bit of a trend with some of the Bond films I’ve just watched.  Christmas Jones was practically useless in the last movie and Elektra had far more development.  Natalya in GoldenEye was more compelling and Bond did not instantly fall into bed with Onatop.  Wai Lin struck a happy medium and got a better fight scene, though she too fell easily into Bond’ arms.

Up Next: Casino Royale

Are They Fighting or Are They Dancing?

The Mask of Zorro

Another of the swashbuckling movies produced in the nineties, like Three Musketeers and Prince of Thieves and like those two, it’s very well done.  Stars Anthony Hopkins (a classic Welsh actor who is Odin in MCU Thor, famous as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs [and I refuse to watch that movie, I do not need the nightmares], was Van Helsing in 1992’s Bram’s Dracula, was in A Bridge Too Far with the other great actors of that time) as Don Diego de la Vega, Stuart Wilson (an older Robin Hood in Disney’s Princess of Thieves) as Don Rafael Montero, Tony Amendola (Marco/Geppetto in ABC’s Once Upon a Time series amongst other TV series) as Don Luiz, Antonio Banderas (this is probably his most famous role) as Alejandro Murrieta and Catherine Zeta-Jones (who is actually Welsh, and married to Michael Douglas since 2000; this was her breakthrough role, and she went on to win an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in 2002’s Chicago) as Elena.  This is not the first appearance of the character Zorro; he dates to 1919 and was originally supposed to be a one-time character, then the popularity of the 1920 movie had the author create dozens of further stories.  However, this is probably one of the more well-known iterations.

The story begins in 1821 as Spain is leaving Mexico due to a rebellion led by General Santa Anna.  The last governor, Don Rafael Montero is ordered to leave, but has one last piece of business to take care of.  He gives his friend Don Luiz orders to distribute the Spanish land amongst themselves and pay taxes to Santa Anna, thereby maintaining their wealth.  Montero is planning to execute three innocent men amidst a protest.  Two boys are waiting for the legendary Zorro to appear and he does not disappoint.  The boys even save Zorro from a trap and in return, he gifts them with a medallion.  The crowd cheers for their hero and protects him from the guards.  He confronts Montero and marks his neck with a “Z”, three slashes for three men.  Montero would murder a hundred innocent men in order to kill Zorro.  But Zorro rides away.

There is a lair beneath his estate (the original Bat cave; in fact, Zorro is considered an influence to Batman); Zorro remarks to his faithful black steed that they are both getting too old for their activities.  Zorro without the mask is Diego de la Vega and he visits his infant daughter in her nursery and tells her stories about his escapades.  His wife, Esperenza joins the pair.  They are interrupted by Montero and his guards.  Montero has an inkling at this point that de la Vega is Zorro and pressing on his arm reveals a bloody scratch de la Vega received during the fight that day.  He attempts to arrest de la Vega as a traitor to both his country and his class, and oddly apologizes to Esperenza.  Turns out, Montero loves Esperenza and is upset that she married de la Vega; but now, he probably is thinking with de la Vega out of the way, he can claim Esperenza.  But Esperenza tries to protect her husband during his duel with Montero and a guard accidentally shoots her.  Montero dispatches the guard, and de la Vega goes for his crying daughter; a fire has started during the scuffle.  Montero knocks de la Vega out, puts him in chains, and claims his daughter.  Montero leaves with young Elena for Spain and de la Vega is taken away to prison to rot; Montero’s parting words to de la Vega: you must “live with the knowledge you have lost everything you hold dear,” and “your child should have been mine.”  (This of course, takes away the notion of Esperenza’s own choice; she seems very happy with de la Vega and aware of his secret, most likely meaning it was a love match, so no, Elena should have never been Montero’s child.)  de la Vega swears to Montero, “you will never be rid of me!”

Twenty years later: the Murrieta brothers have been caught…well, actually, they were in on their capture so they could steal the guard’s money and redistribute it to the poor (a la Robin Hood).  But there is a new Captain in town, Captain Love from Texas; he ends up shooting Joaquin and capturing Jack.  Alejandro escapes, but watches his brother shoot himself instead of being captured.  Alejandro collects his brother’s medallion, then tries to barter it away for a drink.  In the meantime, Montero has returned to California.  His first stop is the prison, in order to be sure that Zorro is dead.  Several prisoners claim they are Zorro (like the famous “I’m Spartacus” scene), but Montero doesn’t believe any of them.  He walks right by an old man with an eye patch, pauses for a moment, but dismisses him.  He deduces Zorro is dead.

Wrong.  That old man is de la Vega and he manages to free himself and get smuggled out of the prison by impersonating a dead body; meaning he then digs himself out of the grave.  He will exact his revenge on Montero.  He attends Montero’s official arrival the following day, where Montero plays to the crowd, insulting the other Dons so he can claim he works for the people.  Obviously, de la Vega knows better and starts to make his way to the former governor, until Montero’s “daughter” arrives, Elena.  This halts de la Vega.  He must rethink his plan.  On his way to his hideout, he comes across Alejandro and his old medallion as Alejandro prepares to barter it away.  He easily bests Alejandro in a fight, but offers to train the young man.

mask of zorroAlejandro is eager to start fighting, though his answer of “the pointy end goes in the other man, [sounding like Jon Snow or Arya Stark]” shows de la Vega that he must start with the basics.  The master has a new apprentice.  de la Vega has Alejandro bathe and trim his hair.  After disarming the old fox once, Alejandro figures he is skilled enough to capture a black Andalusian, like Zorro’s Tornado.  Alejandro, in a mask, encounters Elena and she is quite taken by the dangerous man.  When his plan goes a bit awry, Alejandro hides in the church and ends up hearing Elena’s confession, that she is starting to have thoughts about the masked man and her heart is too wild for her father’s liking.  Alejandro manages to escape before Captain Love appears, but he leaves the “Z” mark to let them know Zorro has returned.

de la Vega, expertly using a whip to extinguish candles (Hopkins could do that trick and was added into the movie), is not pleased with Alejandro; Zorro serves the people, not himself.  Alejandro is tired of the lectures and demands de la Vega duel him.  The older man holds up a spoon.  Alejandro must have the polish of a proper gentleman, and needs to spy on Montero.  The two men attend a gala held at the estate, de la Vega masquerading as Alejandro’ s servant, who goes by the title Don de Castilio.  Alejandro is properly presented to Elena, but his gentleman charm does not impress her, though he is impressing Montero.  However, when Alejandro has to stall Montero, he dances quite passionately with Elena (it is a wonderful and lively dance).  Alejandro gains an invitation with the rest of the Dons and Montero reveals his plan; he means for the Dons to claim California.  They will buy it from Santa Anna with gold from a mine on his own land that he is unaware of.  Santa Anna will take the gold because a war with the United States is expensive.  Montero shows off the mine the next day and Alejandro discovers that poor Mexicans who have gone missing have been taken to the mine.

Elena has a conversation with de la Vega the next day in the stables, only knowing him as Alejandro’s servant.  But de la Vega remarks that she looks like her mother.  Elena has been told that her mother was very proper.  And de la Vega’s voice is familiar.  Then, in the market, her former nursemaid makes a gift to her, recognizing her as the daughter of Esperenza de la Vega.  Elena tries to tell the woman she is mistaken and that she was born in Spain.  But she’s already encountered native Californian flowers she remembers the scent.  Montero’s tale is starting to unravel.

de la Vega gifts Alejandro with a proper Zorro mask and instructs him to sneak into Montero’s office; they need the location of the mine.  de la Vega sets a flaming “Z” on the hillside as a distraction, but Alejandro still encounters Captain Love and Montero and even duels them both.  he escapes through the stables and faces off with Elena, who is skilled in sword fighting as well (I love that she’s an action woman).  He does delicately cut her clothes off her as a way to stop her (her hair covers her top).  Alejandro still has hilarious issues with his new horse, but does demonstrate that he is a good rider.  de la Vega returns that evening to confront Montero and demands that Elena be brought out.  Montero’s tale fully unravels; the name “de la Vega” is a clue from the woman in the marketplace and the truth comes out.  She persuades de la Vega to put down his sword to save himself from being shot.  At this point, Elena must be wondering what did Montero do that he was able to take her from de la Vega and what truly happened to her mother.  Then she later frees him from the cellar he’s been thrown into and they race off to help Zorro.

zorro dance

Zorro sneaks into the mine and discovers the people are locked in.  Captain Love’s suggestion is to blow up the mine once all the gold is out and kill the people as well so there are no witnesses.  But when Zorro shows up, Love cuts the fuse so he has time to deal with the nuisance.  de la Vega confronts Montero again as Elena watches.  Montero seems willing to kill her to stop de la Vega, but he wouldn’t actually hurt the woman he views as a daughter, though it gives him the chance to shoot de la Vega.  Zorro dispatches Love, even after being stabbed and unmasked, then Montero is caught behind the wagon as it falls.  Elena goes to rescue the trapped people and the fuse has restarted.  Zorro helps her with the last cells and they save the day!  Alejandro holds de la Vega as he bids his daughter farewell; she has the same spirit as her mother.  He even blesses Alejandro and Elena, then passes away.  Elena mourns de la Vega; not Montero.

There must always be a Zorro; it is a destiny and a curse, for there is always another battle.  But both Zorros have loved Elena.  And now Alejandro tells the story to his son.

In 2005, there was a direct sequel to this film, The Legend of Zorro, bringing back both Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones to reprise their roles.  Rufus Sewell (Knight’s Tale, Tristan and Isolde, Victoria) joins as Armand, a former friend of Elena de la Vega’s when she grew up in Spain.  This film is not nearly as good as Mask of Zorro.  The premise is that California is voting to become part of the United States in 1850, but there is a secret organization attempting to block it.  Zorro is doing his best, but since he is gone often, his marriage is strained and he’s missing out on seeing his son grow up.  His secret is found out by mysterious men, who blackmail Elena into working undercover for them.  She divorces Alejandro and he must make a choice between being Zorro and saving his family.

Of course, several of the fight scenes are still good and Elena retains some of her action-girl status.  But there are several glaring errors.  California at that time was Catholic; divorce was not allowed and Elena’s status would have surely suffered.  Mentions of the Confederacy are inaccurate since it didn’t form until 1861.  The inclusion of nitroglycerin is just barely factual; it was invented in 1847 as an explosive, but to me, still seems a bit farfetched.  The overall feeling I get from the film is that they were trying too hard.  The villains are flat.   Of course, the son learns who his father is, and the marriage is put to rights.  I argue how could Elena say to Alejandro “we were never meant to be together?”  You married him knowing full well who he was and what he did.  That was what attracted you to him.  There was a more logical way to deal with the matter.

So, definitely watch Mask of Zorro, it is a classic.  Hopkins is excellent and I actually would love to see more of him in that role.  Antonio is charming and this is why Puss in Boots in Shrek is a takeoff on Zorro, since Antonio voiced the cat (despite the tale being French).  As I’ve stated before, I love a good sword fight.

Next Time: Top Gun

These Names Will Never Die

Troy

I’ll be honest, I watched this film originally because it has Orlando Bloom in it. And I probably only bought the DVD because I found it in a bargain bin at some point. Released a year after Gladiator, it is part of the early 2000s rash of “epic” movies. It’s an adaptation of Homer’s great epic poem The Iliad. Greek mythology is not what I tend to study, so I have not read this (I think part of it is that I can never keep their names straight; same with Roman names. They’re all the bloody same!) It has an all-star cast as well. Brad Pitt stars as Achilles. Brian Cox is Agamemnon, the king of the Greeks and Julian Glover is Triopas, king of Thessaly, an opponent of Agamemnon. Brendan Gleeson is Agamemnon’s brother Menelaus, king of Sparta (yes, when I hear Sparta now I think of 300. Yes, I’ve seen the movie; no, we will not be covering it [that was far too much death for me; though it was fun to learn about it a bit as part of A.P. English class]). Diane Kruger (she’ll later be in Copying Beethoven and the National Treasure movies) is the famous Helen. Peter O’Toole is king Priam of Troy; Eric Bana and Orlando Bloom play his sons Hector and Paris, respectively. James Cosmo is back as Glaucus, Julie Christie is Thetis, Achilles’ mother. Oh yes, and that’s Sean Bean as Odysseus! It’s been pointed out that Odysseus stars in the sequel to the Iliad, the Odyssey, so he can’t die in this story. Huzzah for Sean Bean.

The film opens telling us these events took place 3200 years ago, with a scrawl setting the stage; Agamemnon has spent decades warring with the kingdoms of Greece and forcing them into an alliance. His greatest warrior is Achilles, but Achilles disdains Agamemnon and threatens all that the king has built. Sean Bean narrates part of the prologue, that we ask ourselves, will our actions echo across the centuries, will strangers wonder how bravely we fought and how fiercely we loved? The idea of being remembered for all time crops up throughout the film.

Achilles is called to defeat Thessaly’s hero in single combat. He does so in one move. He asks the opposing army “Is there no one else?” Meanwhile, Sparta is working on a peace treaty with Troy, tired of fighting all these years. Seems to be going well; until Paris meets up with Menelaus’ wife, Helen. They’ve actually been meeting secretly for several nights and they have fallen in love (apparently, Menelaus is a terrible husband). Now they wish to run away together. And they are dumb enough to do it. I get this is an epic poem and a literary classic, but reading and watching enough royal shows, I have to point out; they knew what they were doing was wrong. There would be terrible consequences and they really don’t want those consequences; and yet they did it anyway! Yes, they loved each other. But a war got started because of it. People died. You couldn’t have left well enough alone, Paris? Hector is a nice older brother and will protect his young brother. Troy welcomes their new princess.

trojan princes

Agamemnon doesn’t care about the slight to his brother’s honor; he’s just happy to start a war with Troy. But, he’ll need Achilles, however much the warrior annoys him. There is one man that Achilles will listen to: Odysseus. His argument to his friend is “this war will never be forgotten, nor the heroes who fight in it.” Even Achilles’ mother says the same; he could stay where he is and have peace and a family, but eventually forgotten. Or he could fight in Troy and win more glory and the world will remember him; but it will be his doom. We all know what Achilles chose. His ship is the first of the fleet to land on Troy. The Greeks take the beach and Achilles attacks Apollo’s temple and has a short encounter with prince Hector. He tells the Trojan prince “go home, tomorrow we will have war.” Another twist is thrown in; Briseis, the niece of the king is a priestess of the temple and is gifted to Achilles. He’s surprisingly gentle with her. But Agamemnon tries to take her for Achilles disobedience. Achilles is ready to defend her, but Briseis declares “I don’t want anyone dying for me.”

Paris challenges Menelaus to single combat to prevent more death. But he loses the duel, saved only by crawling to his brother and Hector killing Menelaus. Agamemnon attacks and Troy proves why they are so hard to defeat. Odysseus finally suggests retreat. He speaks to Achilles after the fight, insisting that the Greeks need him, the soldiers need the morale boost. Achilles rescues Briseis. He once again tries to care for her and she resists at first, holding a knife to his throat. Until he starts kissing her and she drops the knife. I swear, this movie is more about their connection than Helen and Paris. Achilles still insists that he is sailing for home; he will not fight for Agamemnon.

achillesThe Trojans attack at night with giant fire balls, which leads into the Trojan army advancing. Achilles joins the fight and faces Hector. Hector cuts his throat and reveals that it is Achilles’ beloved younger cousin. Hector declares enough for one day. Achilles’ second in command delivers the news. The next day, Achilles rides alone to the gates of Troy and demands Hector to face him. Hector, an honorable man, faces Achilles. And behind the scenes trivia reveals that Eric Bana and Brad Pitt did not use stunt doubles for the duel. (They also has a gentleman’s agreement to pay for every accidental hit; $50 for each light blow, $100 for each hard blow. Brad Pitt ended up paying Eric Bana $750; Bana didn’t own anything to Pitt.) It’s a good duel, but really didn’t enrapture me. Achilles defeats Hector, then ties his body to his chariot to drag back to the Greeks. That evening, king Priam comes to Achilles to beg for his son’s body, so he can have an honorable funeral. “Even enemies can show respect.” Achilles relents and allows Troy to have their twelve days of mourning, and lets Briseis return to Troy. Agamemnon is furious.

Odysseus has a plan; his men start building. He makes it look like the Greeks have left and they have left an offering of a large wooden horse. Paris advises his father to burn it. He’s ignored. His father ignored Hector’s advice as well. The Trojans drag the horse into their city and celebrate. At night, Odysseus, Achilles, and others emerge from the horse and set about taking the city down from the inside. They get the gates open to let in the army. Well, Achilles is off running to find Briseis, who is looking for Paris. Helen, Hector’s wife and son, and as many others as they can find escape through an old tunnel that Hector showed his wife (because he was smart and knew what could happen). Paris refuses to leave and passes the sword of Troy to a young man so the Trojans will always have hope and can start over. Paris joins the fight with his bow (which is hilarious, because Orlando Bloom is Legolas).
Agamemnon kills the king and tries to take Briseis back. She stabs him and Achilles finishes the guards. But Paris finds them and misunderstands the situation. He shoots Achilles in the heel, slowing the warrior down. Another four arrows strike him. Achilles manages to tell Briseis, “it’s alright. You gave me peace in a lifetime of war,” and sends her with her cousin Paris. He pulls the arrows out of his chest, but the one in his heel is left, so that is how he’s found. Odysseus burns Achilles and the movie fades out as he says “if they ever tell my story, tell them I walked with giants.”

This movie moves slow at times. And I swear it’s more about Achilles than either of the Trojan princes. Helen is not terribly developed. From a certain point of view, one can easily agree that the whole war is her fault. She was unhappy with her husband and a younger, more handsome man took interest in her and she ran off with him. Though Hector does later stop her from running away, knowing that it won’t stop the war that has already come. We witness more nuances of Achilles’ character. He’s more than just a hardened warrior; he cares for his younger cousin and is downright tender with Briseis (this is after seeing him willingly bed other women). Hector is noble; I prefer him to Achilles. Paris is an idiot, though he tries to make up for it at the end. Priam is a bit of an idiot as well, listening to other advisors over his experienced sons. Agamemnon is an idiot as well, the definition of warmonger.

Overall, I’m underwhelmed by the movie. The duel between Hector and Achilles was alright; but they’ve shown all those moves previously in the movie. I didn’t connect with the characters. No, the thought I had running through my head after I heard Sean Bean at the beginning was “does he live?” I put Pompeii on again afterwards. I watched it for the same reason that I did Troy and yet I became more invested in it.

What are your favorite historical periods?

Next Time: Kingdom of Heaven